Grief and Life

Last night Todd and I were watching something on the news and it brought me back to a point in time of absolute grief. Have you ever those moments? Moments where you are feeling those feelings so real it is as if it is happening again. I was 6 or 7 weeks pregnant for the first time and Todd was in Georgia with some guys from church for a conference. I was having lunch with my mom and dad and went to use the restroom. I was spotting. I was not worried at the moment. After all people sometimes spot with pregnancies. I called my Ob and she said to come in. I was completely expecting her to tell me everything was fine. My mom drove me to the appointment and the Ob ordered an ultrasound. She said we should be able to see the baby by now and I wnet in. I progressively got worse for the next hour. The baby could not be seen. The Ob ordered a test of my hormone levels to see how they were growing, but we would not know anything for three days. I was completely hysterical as I called Todd to tell him the news. All I could manage to get out in between sobs was They... can't... see... the... baby. He could not understand anything I was saying so my mom took the phone and explained. The next three days were some of the worst of my life. I waited and cried and Todd was so far away and I could not do anything, but lay on the couch. I was ordered to have bedrest. Thankfully enough when the test came back the baby was fine and that baby is my Elizabeth. This memory got me thinking about how strange it is to me that some people do not consider a baby living inside it's mother's womb a living thing. When I was wondering if I lost her, I was not mourning the loss of potential life. I was mourning my baby. I wanted my baby to be ok. When I think of the direction our country is headed I am very sad. We are becoming more and more cavalier with the lives of our unborn. These are my thoughts about the many arguments I have heard for abortion.

"I personally am against it, but I think it should be a personal choice."
Why in that case does only one of three parties get a choice? The father of that baby has no choice. The baby has no choice. Only the mother. And why, do we allow something we consider morally wrong to be placed on the shoulders of a woman who is in a very tough situation. When a woman finds out she is pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy she is probably mentally, physically, and emotionally unprepared to face that the decision at hand. Do we place the decision to murder in the hands of someone who is angry? No we have laws in place to protect innocent people.

"If abortion is illegal, people will sill get abortions and they will be unsafe."
Again, do we allow something we consider morally wrong to happen simply to protect the safety of one life over another?

"What about rape or incest? That poor girl has been through enough, why put her through a pregnancy?"
I have so much compassion and feel so hurt by the sick people in this world who could do such things, but just because she has suffered from a dispicable sin are we justified in ending a life? Do you think for one second if she has an abortion that will erase the pain of what she has been through? And does a life become less of a life or heart become less of a heart beat because it was born of sin. No. And will that girl be healed by an abortion. No. Only Jesus can heal. And wounds that deep require love to cover them.

"What if the baby will be born into horrible circumstances- Young unwed mother, poverty, abuse?"
We would not kill a two day old baby who was living in poverty. We would take that baby and care for it. A baby born into dire cicumstances still deserves a chance to live and a chance to be care for well. Adoption is an option. There are so many loving families who cannot have children of their own.

"I could not give my own child away to someone else." (Adoption)
You cannot suffer the pain of losing your child to someone who will better care for them, so it is better to still their beating heart and not have to suffer the loss. Every woman I have ever personally spoken to who has had an abortion had said they suffered that loss tremendously and still do to this day.

This may seem very harsh as if I did not care for women. I do, but I am deeply troubled by an industry that claims to fight for women's reproductive rights and tramples on the rights of every one who is not a woman or childbearing age. I am also very troubled by the cover up that happens when a woman has an abortion. She is not cared for after the abortion. The years of trouble she has in her heart after the abortion are not talked about. The pain and suffering she experiences are said to be something only a small portion of women experience. The statistics do not back up those claims.

I am angry at the abortion industry. I am angry at politicians, but I am not angry at those individuals who may have had an abortion. I have been very close to women who have made that choice. Every one has regretted it. Every one has felt deep sorrow over what they have done. I do not judge a woman who may have had an abortion. I do not hate them or look at them with disgust. If you or someone you know has had an abortion there is hope and healing in Jesus Christ. He will heal and forgive you if you turn to him. I am passionate for the rights of unborn babies and passionate for those women who have been lied to and decieved by an idustry that is only looking out for itself. No, I do not believe that every doctor, nurse, or planned parent hood worker who helps perform abortions is a money hungry monster. I know that many genuinely believe that what they are doing is helpful. I just wish this lie would come to the light and those babies and women could be saved.