My Crazy end of week/ weekend and what I learned about myself

So it is Wednesday at about 9 am. My very best friend wants to know if we want to come to play at their house. I normally would have jumped all over that chance, but I feel this urge to stay home and do laundry today. Not sure why. We decline.

It's about 10 am and I am utterly freaked out that I have lice. No real reason to believe I do. My head has been so itchy and I am just freaked out. I call my best friend and she says she will come over to check me. (Don't you love those friends.) I am so freaked out I am hyperventilating all most. I am waiting for her to arrive and trying to keep my mind occupied, as well as my kids, and the phone rings. Todd calls to tell me he has an emergency business trip to take and he is leaving either tonight or tomorrow and will be gone until Monday. Boo. My b-day is Monday and we had weekend plans, but the boss (my dad) has very kindly offered to pay for my girls and I to go too. Yeah and AHHHHH. How to be ready for a 5 day trip in less than 24 hours with two kids. My head is no longer itching. My brain is about to explode. Sheena arrives and checks my head and verdict is- NO Lice. Just a freaked out mom who has dandruff.

OK. Now move to packing, booking hotels, shopping for trip. It is lunch time and I open the cupboard. I have no idea what to fix and I really don't want to make anything. Claire likes dog food anyway. LOL. Suddenly another phone call. My mom wants to know if we want to have lunch. We still have pajamas on. Would you like to bring lunch over? Thank God for Nana. Nana arrives with lunch and Hiya. Hiya is what Lizzie affectionately calls, my brothers girlfriend, Heather. We eat lunch and then my mom has to leave. I get girls to nap and think - "It would be so nice to have help right now." The house is a wreck and I still have laundry to do and packing and shopping. I wish Todd could come home now. Then another phone call. Heather wants to know if I need help. My overactive brain almost said no. I thought I can handle this. I really don't want someone else cleaning my house. But thankfully God spoke very clearly and said, "Did you not just wish you had help?" Oh Yes I did. Ok if you don't mind helping that would be great. I make a list things to do and Heather shortly arrives. She slams through my list.

1. Clean bath.
2. Sweep/ mop floor.
3. Do dishes.
4. Clean up toys.
5. Pack.

She does everything, but pack. Oh, how I am so thankful I did not say no.

Girls wake up and she feeds them snack while I make a dozen phone calls to reserve 4 hotel rooms. (For Todd and the crew going with him.) Realize how impossible that would have been had she not been here. When Todd comes home Heather stays with the kids so we can go to the store to buy a toddler travel bed. I have been wanting one for a while and we needed it for the trip because Lizzie cannot sleep in the big bed yet.

Somehow we are packed and ready and I get in bed about 2 am. Wake back up at 7 and we on the road by 9.

We arrive in Kalamazoo and Todd is off to work. We spend the day with Heather and Todd arrives back at the hotel about 7:30. We have already had dinner, so while he eats I take the girls swimming. Interesting taking two kids who you have to hold the whole time by yourself. We decide to get out and Lizzie takes off running. She falls and cracks her head on the cement. So me in my bathing suit and kids as well drip into to hotel restaurant. I ask the hostess to look for my husband because I have a crying toddler and two wet kids. He comes out and we proceed to room. She is fine and Todd is able to resume eating.

Thursday night kids go to sleep and I try to get some rest. Friday morning Claire wakes up at 4am. Ohhh.... I try to get her back to sleep and it does not work. Todd gets up to leave for work at 6 and we turn on lights to have breakfast. I guess that is it. Lizzie gets up about 6:30. Our day goes on and thankfully Heather is there to help. Nap comes and goes and eventually bed. Yeah.

The next morning (Saturday) is better. Claire sleeps until 7 and that is much better than 4. We get up and have breakfast. We decide to go to a zoo nearby. The zoo is so fun and we actually get to feed giraffes. That was so cool..

We leave and on the way home my mom calls to say my dad collapsed and she was taking him to the hospital. We were afraid he was having a heart attack.
We communicate back and forth with her and then decide that my brother, myself, Heather and the kids will go home. I frantically pack and we leave in about an hour. I am upset, worried and drive about 85 the whole way home. Todd had called Sheena and asked her if she would watch our kids because he could not leave until later that night. She agreed and I dropped the kids off at her parents because they were having a 4th of July BBQ. I leave and go to the hospital. I cry the whole way there pretty much because I have been holding it together because of the kids. When I arrive I go see my dad and cry of course. Thankfully he is ok and did not have a heart attack. I was able to stay with him until about 9. And then came home to see the kids. He came home the next afternoon and they are still trying to figure out what caused him to collapse. But he is ok.

This whole week/ weekend has been so tiring and so long and so crazy, but it taught me a lot about myself. I usually think I can handle things on my own and in a lot of situations I can, but in all honesty there are moments I cannot and I need to ask for help. I don't like asking for help. I don't like feeling like I am putting people out or changing their plans. But there are times I need to ask for help. There are times I need to say yes when people ask me if they can help me. I need to do that more. This whole weekend would have gone a lot worse had I not had the help of those around me. I am grateful for their help, but I know it is still hard for me to ask for help. It is still hard for me to not do it on my own. I am glad that Jesus reminds me that I need help and that he is so patient with me as I continually forget that. Because in all honesty a lot of days I forget to look to Him for strength. I forget that when I am leaning on Him and abiding in Him my life is better and I can do it. But when I do it on my own and leave Him out of my plans I end up a mess and my kids and husband suffer. When I am daily looking to him for strength and seeking his help, he gives it to me and then I realize all along he has been orchestrating my circumstances to give glory to Himself. Isnt that He has been doing all along? Jesus dying on the cross to save us from our sins. And us going along in our sins convinced we are doing just fine until He shows us who we really are and what our sins have really done. And then we only have two choices. We can go along and do it on our own and die in our sins or we can choose let Him take our sins and cover them. Am I so prideful to remain convinced I can do it on my own? Or will I admit I need help. I pray I continue to admit I need Him. I need help.