Submission

I was reading in the book of Peter today and read chapter 3. One verse in particular hit me. I have read this passage many times before. But for some reason this really hit home today.

1st Peter 3:1 Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,... 3:6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
The last part is what stuck out to me. At first glance it does not make much sense. Why would "give way to fear" apply to submission? And I realized something. Submission is essentially trust. When you submit to your husband you are trusting him and more importantly you are trusting God. You are trusting that God will care for you. You are trusting that your husband is smart enough to take care of your family and that he is following God's voice. I know that is hard in situations where he may not be following God, but I think we are called to submit even when it does not seem right. (Except of course if what your husband is leading you to is strictly forbidden in scripture. We are never supposed to follow our husbands into sin.)

I never really understood submission until Todd and I disagreed on something major. We were attending a church. There was nothing wrong with the church. I just did not feel like that was where our family was supposed to be. For months we fought about it. I would whine and control and tell him all the reasons we should not be there. He assured me over and over that he still felt very strongly that this was where our family was supposed to be. He said he still felt God leading him there. It made no sense to me. I prayed and prayed for a heart like his, that felt committed and at home at this church. It never came. Instead I was feeling more and more unrest about it. Why was this happening? How could God be leading us in two completely opposite directions? I sought the counsel of a trusted friend who was more wise and a little further along in life. I explained what I was feeling and felt sure that she would agree with me and help me state my case to Todd. To my surprise she did agree that all of my feelings about the church were valid. She said she could see why I thought it was not a good fit for our family, but we should stay. What???? I should submit to my husband and trust God in this.

Needless to say I felt a bit perturbed. Seriously? Submit. But this was not best for our family. I prayed about what she had said and God confirmed her wisdom. Now, not only was she against me, but God too. Ok. I decided to trust God and my husband. I came to Todd one evening and told him. I said I would no longer fight him. I was committed here as long as he felt God leading us. At that moment I still felt unrest. I felt fear and uncertainty about the future of our family. But I chose to submit. I chose to trust instead of giving way to fear. I stopped controlling and grumbling and started to act as though this was our church home.

Interestingly enough, not more than two months after our talk, a huge shift happened in the direction of the church and both of us felt as though we were no longer to be there.

When I trusted God and submitted to my husband he lead our family to where we were supposed to be. And I know now that Todd was not wrong. God was leading him to keep our family there. God had our family there for a purpose. We learned many good things from being a part of that church. And I became more of the wife that God wanted me to be. I wonder how different things would have been if I would have gave way to fear. We women are very good at controlling things when we are fearful. We tend to believe that we know what is best. When we submit, even when we think that our husbands are leading us the wrong way, God will show up. Through our obedience he will become more real to us and he will show us that he really knows what is best for our family. And chances are it is not what we would have planned.