10 months

So 10 months ago today I gave birth to Claire. She was perfect in every way. I was thinking today that while there are some things I miss about the little baby stage there really is not much. She is fast approaching toddler hood. She no longer drinks from a bottle. She has graduated to big girl sippy cups. She is crawling all over and is pulling up on every thing. I am sure she will be walking soon. She eats just about everything. She eats every meal with us at the table and eats most of what we eat. She is no longer a little baby. Of course she will always be my baby, but she is growing up. People often say you will miss this. Yes, I will miss many things, but the first 7 months of her life were so hard. She was an acid reflux baby and that meant for 4 months she slept only in a swing. For 6 months she slept in our bedroom or in the living for naps. For 6 months she never left my side. That is hard on anyone. I was constantly worried she may reflux and choke. I did not get enough sleep. She woke every 3-4 hours for 6 months and when she did sleep longer she still was not sleeping through the night until 9 months. She did not fall asleep on her own until 7 0r 8 months. This was incredibly hard on me and hard on our whole family. Todd often took night feedings because I was too exhausted. He would wake with her at 3 or 4 and be back up for work by 6 or 7. We would take turns rocking her to sleep at bedtime and most nights one of us was upstairs with her until 9:30 or 10. We were scared to leave her with anyone and only had a couple of people we felt comfortable staying with her. This left little time for us to be alone. When she cried I always wondered if she was in pain or if she just needed to cry. This meant she did not learn to fall asleep on her own. For 7 months life was kind of a whirl wind. And it was just hard. Things have gotten much better in the past couple of months. She is doing so much better with her reflux. She is sleeping through the night and puts herself to sleep. But getting here was a long, hard road. This has changed my perspective in a lot of ways. I always said I wanted our children to be no more than two years apart, but now I am thinking maybe three is a better number for the next one. I am just too tired to think of having another baby in the near future. It has also made me realize that while I would never trade our Claire for another baby I think I will not miss much about those first 7 months. I am enjoying her, Elizabeth and Todd so much more now. And I am grateful these past 10 months are behind me. I am sad my baby is growing up, but I know that the moments to come will be wonderful. I am not wishing away these years. They are too precious, but I am wisely looking at this for what it was and praying that our next baby does not have these issues.