Homeschooling

So consider this my venting place. I am not really talking to anyone in particular, but just want to vent. I read an online article recently that talked about a family from Germany who were granted asylum in the United States because they were homeschooling their children in Germany where it is illegal. The article turned into a debate from the readers about homeschooling. This lead to many people defending and bashing it. Here are some of the cons and my reactions:

1. "I had a kid in my freshman math class who was homeschooled and he could not even mulitiply."

Well, in all honestly I had a lot of kids in my freshman english class who did not know what a noun was. Some kids fall through the cracks of any system. Yes, there are some kids whose parents do not put as much effort into their education when they homeschool. Yes, those families exist, but by and large most homeschooled children score higher in academic tests than traditional schooled children. To say homeschooling does not work because you met one kid who was not very bright would be illogical.

2. "Homeschooling makes kids unsocialized."

Maybe it does. Maybe a homeschool child will not interact in the same way with their peers at 13 as a traditional schooled child. But I think it depends more on the family. Children will learn from who they are taught by. If my child spends the majority of time interacting with me and his or her siblings they will learn social cues from me. I kind of like that better. I think homeschoolers should have ample time to interact with people of all ages. I think it becomes the parents responsibilty to make sure the child is given opportunites to make friends and spend time with their peers, but I don't think that spending 8 hours a day with peers is crucial. Children can learn to be polite, kind and have manners from mom and dad. They can have fun, laugh, play games and share jokes with siblings.

We are not at school age yet. But I think we will be homeschooling. We have weighed the options and at this point that looks like the best choice for our family.

Do I think that every family should homeschool? No. I don't think homeschooling is feasible for everyone. Not every family will like it and I cannot decide what is best for you. Maybe those people who are anti-homeschooling could take a closer look before they decide what is best for my family.

Husband

I miss my hubby. We had a week of all out plague in our home. 4 bouts of stomach flu. One case of strep throat and one case of bronchitis. We have sorely missed alone time. After the week of, dare I say, hell, all I wanted to do was sleep when the kids went to bed. But tonight when the kiddos are in bed we have a date. And I am looking forward to spending some one on one time with my handsome man.

Mirror

I have to admit that sometimes I cringe when I see my children mimic me. There are those moments when they do things that my heart just breaks. One such moment happened the other day. Elizabeth was struggling so hard to accomplish something (I cannot remember what). She got frustrated and screamed and threw it down. I would like to say I have never done that. But sadly when she did it I saw myself. It is easy to forget, when the computer is not working or when I can't open something, that little eyes are watching. Sometimes I scream aghhhh in frustration and throw it. Those moments are the worst.

She does mimic good things. When I see her gently hold her baby doll and say, "Its ok momma is here, baby." or apologize to her sister without encouragement. Those moments give me hope. They give me hope that despite my many flaws and failures my children can learn good from me. My ultimate hope and the one that gives me comfort is that they will be introduced to the one they can mirror and I will never have to cringe. I hope that I can point them to Jesus and they can see the one who will never let them down.

Marriage

First of all before I share my thoughts I want to share the heart behind them. I am not an expert on marriage. I have been married almost 6 years. I have what I think is a healthy, happy marriage, but I know that I do not know everything there is to know about it. I consider people married 20,40,50, or even 70 years to be experts. They have time on their side. But I know that time married does not make you good at marriage. If this was the case there would be no divorces after 20 years. We know statistically most Americans are getting divorced now after 25 years. So time does not make a good marriage.

So what does? I have prayed that God would make me a good wife. I have prayed for my husband and I to have a great marriage. I think scripture gives us some very good guidelines for healthy marriage. And God has made certain scriptures come alive to me.

Ephesians 4:26B "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." (NIV)
This verse was made real to me at a "low" point. Todd and I were having a really rough patch. Nothing major. But it just seemed like we were not clicking. We fought over the smallest issues and just were generally crabby with one another. One Sunday our pastor taught on this verse. I realized that I had been holding on to "small" issues everyday. Maybe one day Todd would make a comment that hurt my feelings. Instead of telling him he hurt me I just supressed it. I had good intentions. I usually did not want to start a fight or I thought I could just get over it. But it usually did not work. I would let small issues build until I blew up at him.

This was brought to life to me through someone elses circumstances recently. I was talking with a woman who had been married for many years and was now divorced. She recounted for me an incident that happened in her marriage over 10 years ago. Her now ex-husband made a comment that wounded her deeply. She recited his words with such anger that I knew she felt the hurt just as much as she had at the moment they were spoken. And when we were finished talking I wondered to myself what may have happened if she would have told him right then how much his words hurt. Who knows. He may have apoligized. I wondered if their divorce was due, in part, to years of going to bed angry. Years of holding on to a small wound, every day.

Proverbs 10:12 "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (NIV)

I hurt my husband sometimes. I think about my needs more than his needs some days. He hurts me too. We are two utterly imperfect people trying to make marriage work. How can two people who are utterly selfish, and sinful at their core make marriage work? I think the only way we survive and still enjoy each other is through love. At the end of the day. At the end of an arugument. We can choose to love each other or leave angry.

I hope that each day I can forgive him. I honestly think men are better at this than us. Women can hold grudges for years. If you wound us once we will remember. And you better believe we will not let you forget. Or anyone else for that matter. I am not saying that some hurts are not legitimate. Some wounds are very deep and hurt so much they make you bleed inside. Some wives have endured so much they wonder if they can endure more. I am not talking about abusive situations. Obviously, those type of wounds need a more thorough and in depth examination. Maybe a trusted pastor or counselor could help you heal from those hurts. Those hurts are real and you have every right to feel them. But what I am suggesting is that if you are married would your marriage be a little more healthy, a little more loving, a little more enjoyable if you offered real genuine forgiveness today and everyday.

I know mine has been so much better since the Sunday I heard that sermon. I have tried to leave each conversation, each moment, each day resolved. I try not to go to bed angry at Todd. And we are happier. I am happier. Our marriage is healthier.

What are you holding onto that is making you bitter towards your husband? Let it be resolved today.

Top 10 events of 2009

10. After nine months of night waking, Claire finally started sleeping through the night in May.

9. I heard my baby girl say "mama" for the first time.

8. I watched as Claire took her first steps.

7. Elizabeth achieved potty training success.

6. I joined MOPS.

5. Todd and I celebrated 5 years of marriage.

4. Todd and I spent our first weekend, without kids, together in Chicago.

3. I watched as Elizabeth became a big girl. She began saying things like, "Do you know how much I love you?"

2. I lost 56 lbs.

1. I bought my first pair of size 6 jeans and they fit. :)

My day

Woke up at 6 am to Elizabeth coughing and crying. (I think she has a cold.) Got her back to sleep with some reading, cuddling and cough syrup. Fell back asleep myself because I was really exhausted.

Woke back up at 9 am to Elizabeth crying.

Shower, dress kids, breakfast. Leave to run some errands.

Come home at lunch time. Make lunch while refereeing children, keeping Claire from climbing the stairs and helping Lizzie go potty (when your daughter says, "Mom, I am peeing everywhere" you probably should go help.)

Feed kids, change kids and put down for nap.

Decide to take a nap myself even though the house looked like a tornado came through.

Woke up an hour and half later to Todd coming home. The house was still a mess. (I was really hoping when I woke up it would have magically be cleaner.)

Got dressed and freshened up. Changed kids and left to go to a dinner for a business group Todd is in.

Arrived at business group. Realized that while this was supposed to be a family event, we were, in fact, the only ones who brought kids. Ordered food, took Elizabeth potty, had someone spill pop on Claire and took her to bathroom to clean up, got back to table and ate part of my sandwhich, took Elizabeth potty again, came back and ate more of my sandwhich, took Elizabeth potty yet again, came back and watched Claire while Todd took Elizabeth potty again. (She was drinking lemonade and I think she inhaled it.) Decided it was time to leave because even though we had only been there 45 minutes, it felt like an eternity.

Went to store to exhange something and then ended up at the mall for the sole purpose of getting ice cream. Enjoyed ice cream.

Home, snack, find clothes for my mom and dads house for tomorrow for kids (two pairs of pajamas, one pair of play clothes each, one pair of nice clothes each, two pairs of panties, 4 sets of socks.)

Put kids to bed.

I know that my day is not any different from any other moms. I am not unique or special, but when you look at things with this perspective it makes you realize that I ought to be paid. LOL.

Conversation with Elizabeth

This morning Elizabeth was searching for something she had lost. She was saying in a whiney tone "where is it, where is it?" I heard her, but was busy with something else, so I really did not pay attention. A moment later she found it and came to me and said, "God takes care of us, doesn't he mom." My heart melted and I told her about how God tells us he cares for the birds and flowers and will take care of us so much more. My prayer is always that God will reveal himself to my two little girls. I am thankful he is!