Life in choas

So today was one of those days for me. It started with a doctor appt. for claire. Not fun, but made tremendously better by the fact Lizzie was with my best friend. You have to love a friend who calls and insists on watching your kid just to help you, even though she has a yucky cold, which she will most certainly pass on to her children. Thanks Sheena! After that home for naps and rest for mommy. Lizzie did not nap. She is on a medication for a cold that makes her extremely hyper and needless to say she sat in her bed two hours today and did not sleep one wink. I went in a few times to check on her and kept telling her, "You need to sleep sweetie." Well, she did not and our day went accordingly. At 4:30 I talked to Todd and mistakenly interpreted that he would be home soon. (Yeah) Well, at 5:30 I called again and was told he was not even leaving for 20 minutes. I had been telling myself, "it will be over soon. Daddy will be home and he will help and life will be better." Dinner was almost done. Lizzie was running around like the drugged up kid she is and I was on the brink. Well, when he told me he was not leaving for 20 more minutes I broke down. I immediately told him I had to go. I was not mad at him. It really was both of our faults. He did not give me all the info about what he had to do until he came home, but I also should never assume. So, when I hung up with him. I just cried. I sat there holding Lizzie, stirring taco meat, crying. We made it through till dad came home and when he came home mommy had to leave. I just needed some alone time. It got me thinking. Life is often made up of these moments. And I appreciate so much when other moms, normal, healthy, good, moms let me know about those moments in their lives. Often when I am in those moments I feel like they will never end and like I am such a mess. And like my kids are going to be scarred and turn out horrible. But then I see other families and I realize that despite the chaos things really can be ok. My kids, thankfully enough, have the option of having their messy lives redeemed by the God who created us. And I am ever grateful for that and for the chance I have to turn to him as well. I left the house and cried in the car. I cried and prayed and went shopping. And when I came home I felt better. I have to say that when I walked in the door the house was clean, dishes done and Lizzie was bathed. That did help with the feeling better part. ( I have an amazing husband.) But it helps me to remember I don't have to be perfect. God loves me and Jesus Christ can redeem my broken chaos. For that and for weight watchers ice cream I am leaving you grateful!