Glad to be back

So our computer is finally fixed. Thanks to my awesome brother in law. I will be posting more yeah! So to update Claire is now crawling all over the world and pulling up and has only one time spoken her first word, "mama." Elizabeth is getting bigger all the time. And she told me the other day " Mommy, I do not want to go pee pee in the potty. I am not a big girl yet." So cute. She is clinging to some aspects of babyhood. I am excited to post more, but tired tonight.

Where am I

So our computer is broken and we are working on it, but in the mean time I have little "free" time on the computer so I will be posting again soon hopefully!

Good Friday

Today I am incredibly thankful as I remember the death of my saviour. Jesus came and sacrificed his body and blood, so that we may have eternal life. I am in desperate need of his salvation today and every day. I am glad that Good Friday is not the end of the story. We have a saviour who not only died on Friday, but walked out of the tomb alive on Sunday. That is the part of the story that makes it good. We have been talking with Elizabeth about the reason we celebrate Easter. She only gets it to a point, but she is so cute when we get to the part of the story where Mary gets to the empty tomb and Jesus is alive. Elizabeth declares, "Not crying anymore." Mary was no longer crying because her friend, her saviour, her Lord was dead. She was now rejoicing because the King, the saviour, was now her risen Lord. His death was the gift to us, but the fact that he was alive again and is alive today is the proof, to a world in need, that he was unlike any "saviours" who came before him or any who followed him. Buddha, Muhammad, Cesar, they all still lay in tombs or in graves. Lifeless and powerless. Jesus is Alive and still on the throne! I am thankful that we serve a Risen Lord!

In the market for a wife

So, I decided I need a wife. No I am not turning into a lesbian. I just need someone to grocery shop, cook, clean and do laundry. A wife will do.

So, these past few weeks have been soooo hard. Why? Not sure. Just know it has been hard. I feel like I do not have enough time, strength, sleep, money, arms to get everything done. Lizzie has been especially needy lately. I know she is growing and is trying to figure stuff out. She on one hand has been doing extremely well with potty training, but on the other hand has just started asking us to feed her from a baby bottle. I know she is clinging to the last bit of her babyhood probably because she is feeling insecure and how do I handle that. Like a two year old of course. The other day I was trying desperately to get out the door. And trying to do Lizzie's hair. She kept poking me with this little cookie monster barrette. After the 15th time of asking her to stop doing that, I took the thing and chucked it across the room. Which of course sent both us into tears. I stopped and held her and through tears apologized. I know that was not how I should react. I know there was a better way and it seriously was not the example I want to set for her. I know all of this, but I am feeling overwhelmed. Saturday morning I was trying to fold a basket of clothes and Lizzie desperately wanted my attention. She was doing everything to get it and I just wanted to finish folding the clothes. She kept jumping on me and finally I took her and buckled her into Claire's infant chair. This made her laugh at first because it is very out of place, but by the end she was crying to get out. I really just wanted to finish folding the laundry. When I was done, I took her out and we did some stuff together. That always helps, but how can I do that and the million other things I need to do without having to lock her in an infant chair?
How do I spend any time with my infant who is growing up so fast? I know things will work out and I know they will get better. I just feel like such a failure some days. I am doing the best I can and yet the house is wreck, I haven't showered, I have three baskets of clean laundry that have been sitting upstairs for days and dirty laundry piling up, my bathrooms have not been cleaned in (well I don't remember the last time), and I have no idea what I am making for dinner and it is 5:00. A couple of weeks ago in church one of the pastors talked about when Jesus fed the 5,000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish. The disciples came to Jesus and asked him to send away the people so they could find food. Jesus said they should feed them. Their reply was, "we cannot do it, we don't have what it takes." They found 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish and brought them to Jesus. I am sure they were thinking there is no way we can feed these people. This is all we have. Jesus took the 5 loaves and 2 fish and fed the multitudes. And there were 12 baskets of leftovers. I want so desperately to lead a successful life. Success to me means my children grow up to be lovers of God and lovers of people. Success to me means I love, honor, respect and encourage my husband. Success to me means I encourage and love those around me. But I know that in comparison all I have is 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Jesus please multiply my lack. I know that I can never do enough. I am not good enough. I am not strong enough. Jesus, I need your strength. I need your forgiveness for my shortcomings, for the times I do not love those around me, for the times I fail my children, my husband, my family, my friends. For the times I fail you. All I have is 5 loaves and 2 fish. Please make it enough.

Big Girl Bed

Wednesday night Lizzie slept in a big girl bed for the very first time. I was very sentimental, of course. We went to target and let her pick out her own big girl blanket and of course she picked out princesses. There were pretty much two choices: flowers or princesses. Lizzie told me before we even went to the store that she was going to pick one with Cinderella on it. We picked out the blanket, came home and Lizzie could not wait to put her blanket on her new bed. (Which was really her crib with a convertible front.) She was so excited and could not wait for bed time. I threatened to swiftly take away her new princess blanket if she even thought of getting out of bed before morning. (Call me crazy, but sleep is a very precious commodity around our house.) She crawled in her bed and settled in for the night. Daddy took this opportunity to start over with the stuffed animals. It had gotten a little out of hand. On a normal night she had three stuffed care bears, two teddy bears, a polar bear and a stuffed duck and on any given night a new one could be added. So daddy said to pick one. She did and was so excited. She went to bed and a little while later I went in to check on her. She normally takes her jammies off while in bed. I usually put them back on and cover her up. I was doing just that when she woke up. I said"it's ok hunny, go back to sleep mommy is just putting your jammies back on." She looked at me and with the most wonderful smile she whispered, "I sleep in big girl bed." It was priceless. And she did stay in bed all night! Thank God for princess blankets! And I am pretty sure she thinks some invisible force field exists around her bed because last night a stuffed animal fell out and she cried until we came in and picked it up for her. At this point I am ok with the invisible force field because I am sure it will not last long.

Favorite things

Some random favorite things. Not in this order.

1. Not quite so wonderful, but definitely funny: Lizzie is obsessed with picking at her nails. The other day she was picking at a nail and few minutes later said "go, mommy." I took it from her and realized it was not a nail at all, but a booger. Why didn't I look?

2. When you hear a two year old saying, "messy, messy" and laughing while they are supposed to be eating a snack you can bet there is trouble.

3. Claire slept until 7:15 this morning. She only woke up briefly at midnight. Todd went in her room and gave her a pacy. He walked out to make a bottle. By the time he came back in she was fast asleep.

4. Lizzie looked at me and said "mommy's, hair crazy.' This was right before bed, but my hair had been the same all day.

5. I had a dinner with a very good friend that I just don't see as often as I should.

Russian for reset

Something to make you laugh:
Ok so last night while flipping through channels Todd and I came across a hilarious thing. The Secretary of state: Hillary Clinton met with some big Russian official and brought him a present. She brought a red button that was supposed to say Reset in Russian. When she handed it to the man he informed her it actually said "Overcharge." I thought it was so funny. Does the secretary of State not have someone on her team who can google the russian word for reset. Seriously. Our tax money hard at work.