Wednesday, October 29, 2008

a little more normal and various life details

So my sweet little girl has gotten back to normal. Sunday was the last day of the crazy, make her nuts, medication and since Monday she has been napping well and sleeping in in the morning! Yeah! This makes life a bit easier. Claire now is going through the worst of the cold and slept only about 15 minutes today until 5:00. For two months old that is not good, but she gets off the crazy, makes my kids not sleep, medication tomorrow. So hopefully she will be back to normal soon. This week has been a little hectic in our family and when things are busy or when mommy has a lot to do Elizabeth likes to get in to things. Tuesday morning I was trying to send an important email and I looked up and Liz was coloring on the door. LOL. But Monday morning we did not have a lot to do, so after Claire fell asleep for her morning nap Liz and I read books and played together. I used to get to do that a lot more before baby number 2 arrived. So it was nice to enjoy my little girl and I think it was really nice for her. She seemed much more attentive to me and able to obey for the rest of the day. And I found myself laughing and having more fun with her even into today. Now if only I had two hours every day to play. Wishful thinking, but I will take it when it comes. I really do have a great little girl. She is a lot of fun!

I am looking forward to Halloween. Liz is going to be a monkey and Claire is a bannana. They are so cute in their costumes! We also have Claire's specialist appointment on Friday. I am hoping we can get something figured out.

Other than that life has just been crazy. I did recieve a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my husband today! With two Sunflowers tucked right in there. (My favorites) He has a way of cheering me up when things are nuts. I am grateful for him!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Life in choas

So today was one of those days for me. It started with a doctor appt. for claire. Not fun, but made tremendously better by the fact Lizzie was with my best friend. You have to love a friend who calls and insists on watching your kid just to help you, even though she has a yucky cold, which she will most certainly pass on to her children. Thanks Sheena! After that home for naps and rest for mommy. Lizzie did not nap. She is on a medication for a cold that makes her extremely hyper and needless to say she sat in her bed two hours today and did not sleep one wink. I went in a few times to check on her and kept telling her, "You need to sleep sweetie." Well, she did not and our day went accordingly. At 4:30 I talked to Todd and mistakenly interpreted that he would be home soon. (Yeah) Well, at 5:30 I called again and was told he was not even leaving for 20 minutes. I had been telling myself, "it will be over soon. Daddy will be home and he will help and life will be better." Dinner was almost done. Lizzie was running around like the drugged up kid she is and I was on the brink. Well, when he told me he was not leaving for 20 more minutes I broke down. I immediately told him I had to go. I was not mad at him. It really was both of our faults. He did not give me all the info about what he had to do until he came home, but I also should never assume. So, when I hung up with him. I just cried. I sat there holding Lizzie, stirring taco meat, crying. We made it through till dad came home and when he came home mommy had to leave. I just needed some alone time. It got me thinking. Life is often made up of these moments. And I appreciate so much when other moms, normal, healthy, good, moms let me know about those moments in their lives. Often when I am in those moments I feel like they will never end and like I am such a mess. And like my kids are going to be scarred and turn out horrible. But then I see other families and I realize that despite the chaos things really can be ok. My kids, thankfully enough, have the option of having their messy lives redeemed by the God who created us. And I am ever grateful for that and for the chance I have to turn to him as well. I left the house and cried in the car. I cried and prayed and went shopping. And when I came home I felt better. I have to say that when I walked in the door the house was clean, dishes done and Lizzie was bathed. That did help with the feeling better part. ( I have an amazing husband.) But it helps me to remember I don't have to be perfect. God loves me and Jesus Christ can redeem my broken chaos. For that and for weight watchers ice cream I am leaving you grateful!

Sunday, October 19, 2008


Today we went to church with our family. It was so nice to spend the day with them. It was my parents, my in-laws, my brother in law and his lovely girlfriend, Shannon, my brother and his beautiful girlfriend, as my daughter affectionately calls her, High-Ya (Heather). It was so nice to go to church and worship and then have lunch with them. It made me think about how blessed we are to have people who love and adore our kids almost as much as we do. I am so grateful for them. My father in law and mother in law are just fabulous with our girls and today had Lizzie cracking up by scooting her back and forth on the table between one papa and the next. And I cannot say enough about how wonderful my parents care for our girls. And they both totally light up when Nana or Papa enter a room. Lizzie today saw her uncle Erik and could not wait to say hi to him. We don't get a chance to see him and Shannon a lot, but when we do she loves it. And my brother and Heather, well who would not love an uncle and High-ya who shake their butt with Lizzie to the hokey pokey. We are incredibly blessed and I am so thankful that our girls will grow up being so loved. This list of course could go on and on about people who care for our girls, but I thik you get the picture! Thanks for loving our kids!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Oswald Chambers

I have been doing Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest Devotional for the past year. I am amazed at the depth of insight and spiritual truth I gain from one short page of reading. It is so challenging to me. Our family has been on the church hunt for about a year and I have to admit, sadly, that most days I am far more challenged by that 2 minutes of reading than I have been by a sermon in a long time. Today's devotional was about prayer. A big point was how we often think of prayer as preparing us for service, but prayer is our service. I am not setting out to bash any church or to look down on an of the churches we have visited. I still believe that the church is the bride and body of Christ and does in general do some great things in our world, but I do think that somehow as a collective church body we have missed the mark a bit. I see and hear people being asked to serve and see sign up sheets to serve in every church, but that point about prayer and our connection with Jesus being our service is often overlooked. I have a friend who pours her life out in service to others. She has served our family over and over and serves dozens of other families all the time. Just last weekend she surprised us on a Saturday by bringing Chilli and a beautiful pot of mums to our home. (Anyone with young kids knows how helpful it is to have dinner all ready for you!) She is such an example to me of a woman of God and she constantly overflows from her own connection with Christ. But I know she is not "serving" on any church projects. She simply overflows from her love of Christ. And it blesses so many. But I know that some pastors would and have commented about her lack of commitment to the church. I want to overflow like she does. I want to love Jesus like her and to love others like her and if by doing so I never again "serve" in any formal capacity I think that would be ok. Don't get me wrong I do think people can and should use gifts that God has given them and if that means you serve in a church then do it. But why create programs that people don't want to lead and beg for leaders of them? It has led to some very unhappy church workers and probably some very poorly lead programs. I want my connection with Christ to be so real and so deep that he overflows from my life into my family, into my home, into my friends, into my community and into my church. I think when people are deeply connected with Jesus He will place the right people to lead the right programs. (If they are needed at all.)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Acid Reflux

My youngest daughter (2 months) has severe acid reflux. It seems odd for a baby to have such a thing, but she does. And it does not just cause discomfort. She has these episodes where she chokes on the reflux. She often turns purple and gasps for breath. The first time it happened she was 3 days old. My husband and I did not know what was happening. Thankfully enough he took charge and stuck a bulb syringe in her throat and sucked it out. I called 911 and panicked. Since then it has happened 9 times. We have been to childrens hospital and are currently awaiting an appointment to see a GI specialist. The acid reflux really changed the way we live. With my first daughter she slept in her own bed in her room from ther first few weeks. She learned to fall asleep on her own pretty quickly and was sleeping through the night by 12 weeks. I never let Claire sleep more than a few feet from me. Unless I am wide awake and have the monitor. Also because of the discomfort she does not sleep well in her bed. She wakes up every hour or so if she is flat on her back. We even tried elevating her matress and it does not seem to help. So she sleeps in her swing. It makes me worry all the time. I want her to learn to sleep well on her own, but I am also desperate for her to sleep, so we resort to the swing. Also because of the reflux se sometimes cries for no apparant reason, simply because she is uncomfortable. It is amazing how different one child can be from the next. I thought I really had things figured out after Elizabeth, but Claire is a whole other story. This afternoon we were driving home from Walmart and Claire started choking in the car. I cut across traffic and pulled into a parking lot to get her out. I am not sure what is going to happen and I am scared for my baby and I am overwhelmed. I worry about everything. What if it happens when I am in the shower or something? I also worry about her becoming attached to the swing or not learning to fall asleep on her own because she never has to. She is almost always sleeping with me next to her. I wish I could talk with someone who has experienced this. I know a few people who have had babies with acid reflux, but I have not heard any say there child experienced the choking. I just am lost as to what to do and what to expect from her. Baby books will tell you not to let your child fall asleep in the swing and to let them learn to fall asleep on their own, but what do I expect from a baby who is in pain and uncomfortable. I cant just let her cry it out. And I am not sure if she will ever outgrow this. I really am at my wits end.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The wonder of a child

Today our family spent the day with my best friend's family to celebrate her birthday. They have two kids about the same age as ours, so it is usually very fun and very crazy when we all get together. We went to a place called canterbury village. It is a really fun little place that has a bunch of shops and alot of christmas type things. It is amazing to me to watch my daughter experience something for the first time (or second or third.) The place was decorated with huge characters all over. Elves making larger than life cupcakes. Knights guarding fake castles. Just really elaborate over the top things and her eyes light up to see them. And it makes me remember before we had her. We would never have spent 20 minutes by the snow white story. We stayed there simply because the kids wanted to watch this 3 minute skit over and over. We would have missed it probably. It makes me wonder and what else I would miss without them. I would probably not have found that snake in the backyard this summer and if I did I would have run, not stayed there simply because I dont want to teach her to be afraid of my fears. I definitely would have missed playing in the mud puddle in the back of the driveway. I would not watch sesame street or know all the songs to elmo in grouchland by heart. I would not appreciate "bedtime" nearly as much. I am incredibly grateful that for this moment in time I can see the world like a child. In 15 years or so I am sure the wonder will not be there. I am absolutely sure that I will go back to not seeing snakes or playing in puddles. But I hope that I gain something for having been through it. Tonight when I was putting Elizabeth to bed , we were reading her bible and talking about Jesus. We were talking about how God sent Jesus to earth to die for our sins. She said "heart, heart" I said yes Jesus can live in your heart. She said "Mama heart, Dada heart" I said yes Jesus lives in mommy and daddy's heart. She said "Own heart." I said he can if you ask him to. Would you like to ask him. She said "uh, huh." Then I said ok we can. You will understand more when you are older, but pray to Jesus and say live in my heart please. She said. "Jesus, heart, please." I want to have that. That heart of a child. And honestly I do want her to understand more as she grows, but in some ways I think she knows more now than she ever will. She simply wants Jesus. I pray she always will and will serve him even when the world clouds her vision and she has so many other choices. I am incredibly grateful I can see the wonder of God in my beautiful little girl and I want to want him the way she does. Simply want Jesus. Jesus - heart- please.

Friday, October 10, 2008

New to this

SO, I am new to the blogging world, but it seems fun, so why not give it a shot. I am using precious baby nap time for this, so I hope this ends up being worth it.