Saturday, June 6, 2009

Mom Guilt

Ok so any mom will know what mom guilt is. We look at other kids, other moms and feel a twinge of "why is my life not like that" and we blame ourselves. I was thinking about this because my hubby made a very innocent comment the other night about our children eating Mcdonalds. He did not mean for me to take it the way I did, but I was suddenly in a tailspin of tears and guilt. I pondered how my children would grow healthy and happy with such an awful mom. The conversation was essentially this. I wanted Claire's bedtime snack to be oatmeal and pureed veggies. Todd did not want to put veggies in it tonight. So he wanted to just do oatmeal. Really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. And later during a conversation about this he thought I was upset that he did not want to put veggies in it. So he said, "I can't believe you care that much that I did not want to put veggies in it one time. After all we feed out kids Mcdonalds." (By this he meant, one missed veggie is not big big of a deal considering our kids eat fast food, which by some standards would be the worst thing you can feed them.) How I took it was- "This coming from a mom who feeds her kids French fries and Chicken Nuggets." So I was instantly a mess. We sorted through it, but it made me think how we as moms put so much pressure on ourselves. We compare our kids to everyone elses and we think those moms have it all together. Yes my kids eat fast food. Honestly its probably not the worst thing I have done to my kids. Yes I have forgotten to brush their teeth. Yes they have gone days without baths because I was so tired. But my wonderful husband reminded me of what our goal as parents is. Do I want my kids to have good hygeine? Yes. Do I want them to learn healthy eating habits? Yes. But in the grand scheme of life my goal is to raise children who know and love God. All else as my husband said is second. If I fail at something I don't want it to be that. Will I still feel a twinge of guilt when I see another mom sitting with well behaved children looking so put together? Probably. But I need to remind myself that at the end of time Jesus will not look at me and say "Did your remember to brush your children's teeth?" or "Did you always leave your house with makeup and spit-up free clothes on?" No. He will however care deeply about what I did with the hearts of my children.Did I mold them and train them to follow him? I pray that can be my standard.

3 comments:

Margie said...

Great post!!

Amanda said...

OH my dear!!! You gotta check out this fantastic blog called:
Surviving Motherhood by Karen Hossink. (Its also a book!)

http://surviving-motherhood.blogspot.com/

She is a woman passionate about helping moms...and boy does she put things in perspective!! I have leanred so many lessons from her and her insights into His kingdom... you must stop by!!

BYW: You are a great mom.

God bless!
Amanda

Karen Hossink said...

Mom guilt?
Yep, been there!
But when we remember who Jesus is, and what really matters - it is so much easier to let that worthless guilt slip away.
Keep up the good work!

Much love,
Karen