Adoption update

I have been asked several times this week by random people if we were "done" having kids. People at the bank, people at work. Just random people. No, I reply. To some I share the story that we are adopting. But I admit my heart has a twinge of sadness when people ask. Not because I don't want to have more. Not because I don't want to share that we are adopting. But because my heart gets a little sad when I think that we are indeed missing a member of our family and I am not sure when he will be home with us.

Last Friday we were blessed to watch my dear friend's two week old baby for a few hours. Elizabeth and Claire were in love. And when the baby left Claire asked when we were getting her baby brother back. With all the adoption talk she thought that little guy was ours to keep. It was super sweet and she totally understood when I explained who he belonged to. But still my heart was sad. When our we getting our baby brother home? I can't help but wonder.

Our dossier is almost complete. We are waiting on approval from immigration and I have a few more items to gather. And then we send this set of paperwork out along with the agency fee of $1,700.00. And then we will be officially on the wait list. But that to me is bittersweet. Ethiopia is uncertain right now. Things are shaky and wait times are being lengthened. I am so ready to get our official wait time started. But we are still not clear how long it will be. We are uncertain of many things. But what I cling to is that God is not uncertain. He has us in this place at this time for a reason.

When I pray sometimes I just beg God to allow our baby to be home soon. Sometimes I get weepy thinking we may have to wait years to hold him in our arms. But yesterday after reading an email from our agency with more confirmation of longer wait times Todd reminded me that it does not matter what it looks like to our eye. We are walking by faith. We serve the God who created the world by his word in 6 days. The God who parted the red sea. The God who made barren old men fertile. The God who kept Jonah in the belly of a fish. The God who raised Lazarus from the dead. The God who healed the blind, sick and leper. The God who became a man and died on the cross and on the third day defeated death. We serve a God who calls things into existence simply by his word and calls dead things alive again. He takes men who are murderers and makes them saints. He makes things that are not into things that are. He is the God who lead us here. He is the God who is still leading. And we are following Him by faith that He is leading us.

When the Ethiopian government first announced that they were slowing down adoption approvals I was reading a book. In many ways that book was what kept me sane during that awful moment. The book is called "Hinds Feet on High Places". It is an allegory about a woman's (Much- Afraid) journey through life with God. During one part of the story the Shepard asks the young woman if she would follow Him even if it looked like he was deceiving her. She said she would. He then asked would she follow Him if He did deceive her. Much-Afraid looked at her Shepard and replied out of an honest but broken and confused heart that she believed He was incapable of deceiving her but that she would follow Him if He did. The book follows her journey and in many moments the way that the Shepard leads little Much-Afraid appeared to be wrong. At times it even appeared to go in the opposite direction of their ultimate journey. You have to read for yourself to see where they end up. But I choose to believe that God's purposes will prevail even if it looks like we are being lead away from the very thing we seek. Our God sees the bigger picture.

Psalm 48:14 "For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end." (NIV)