I woke up this morning way too tired. I woke up this morning way too crabby. I woke up this morning with my heart full of way too much. I went over the list in my head of all the to dos for the day and the to dos for the week and it was all too much.
There is no way I can possibly be all that everyone around me needs me to be. I need to parent and disciple these two precious little girls well. I need to teach their minds and hearts knowledge and the studies of all things. I need to discipline them well and instill a heart of gratitude.
I need to be a good wife to my husband. I need to be respectful and submit to His leadership. I need to make him feel welcome and treasured when he is home and to think and talk well of him in his absence.
I need to be housekeeper and clean and organize the space we are blessed to call home. I need to wash, dry and fold the mountain of clothes we are blessed to have. I need to create healthy and filling meals to nourish our bodies.
On top of all of these I need to make time to read God's word and pray (most important), to rest (so needed) , to exercise (Let's not even go there). I need to do these and one hundred other little tasks each day. And I want to do them with excellence.
But if I am truly honest sometimes I just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. It is all too much.
So I found myself crying this morning as I was putting another load of laundry in the washer. Fighting my way down the basement stairs with arms too full and stuff falling down around me as I walked. And crying. Crying real the kind where you start to breath all huffy. Crying over laundry. And not laundry. Crying because I can't do it all. Crying because I am overtired from staying up too late.
And I stopped in the midst of my huffy breathing and gave thanks. Raw, hard thanks. Thanks for a washer that works and for the little girls giggling up the stairs. Thanks for the arms and legs that are healthy enough for the task. And I cried out to God to please help me make it through this day and the million tasks that lie ahead.
And then I did the next thing. A while back I came across a poem quoted by Elisabeth Elliot that talks about when your heart is feeling overwhelmed that the best thing to do is to cast your cares on God and do the next thing. Do it with reliance on God and thanksgiving.
So I did that. I began cleaning one area at a time. First the kitchen. Moving onto the living room. Now here I am. Its almost noon. I still have much to do. And much that may be left undone. But my heart is filled with new joy.
If you are feeling a bit like I was today., I encourage you to do the next thing and do it with thanksgiving.
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1 comment:
I couldnt have said it any better to be honest! keep up the awesome work. You are very talented & I only wish I could write as good as you do :) …
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