More

So in the past three years or so, our family has been surrounded by marriages that have or are crumbling. We have had very dear and close friends divorce. Some have been very sudden and seem to have come from out of the blue. We have been heartbroken on more than one occasion. There have been times when we literally have had our hearts ripped from our chest by the news of someone close separating. We hurt and ache for those around us. We know God's plan for marriage was never supposed to be this way. We struggle to know how to help. How can we encourage the marriages around us?

It seems like we have more access to resources than ever before. There are more books being written on the subject of marriage than ever. With the internet, facebook, texting, down loadable sermons and more people have more access to the knowledge than they ever did in the past. Yet marriages are still crumbling at an ever increasing rate. There is more knowledge and still more divorce.

In my cries to God, it seems that He has answered that there are two things we need more of. The answer is not more books, more sermons, more counseling, more knowledge. All of those things are fine in and of themselves. And I have been genuinely helped on more than one occasion by all of those. But the real answer. The real depth and longing of our hearts and our families is for more of God and deeper community.

Our families need more of the living breathing active Lord. We need His spirits fire to come in our homes. We need to beg for God's presence. We need to beg that He forgive our sinful, wretched hearts and fill them with Himself. Without Him no sermon, no book, no formula will transform our families. Nothing can redeem and restore what was once broken like God. Some of the marriages around us seem beyond hope. They seem like nothing could make them new again. But I am reminded of a group of people. A group of men and women who were broken and beaten. A group who were sinful and filled with regret. In the book of Acts the second chapter we are told of such a group of men and women. About 120. They were followers of Jesus. Jesus Christ had just recently been crucified. All of those around him fled when he needed them. Peter, his closest friend, denied that he even knew him. These were a group of rejects. They had no hope of any good coming from their lives. They had no hope of anything good coming from what had happened. But they sat together and prayed and waited upon the Lord. And the Holy Spirit came with wind and fire and filled each of them. In verse 41 we are told that 3,000 people came to follow Christ that day. It was not because of the knowledge that people came that day. It was not an eloquent sermon. It was not a really good book. The living, active, working God came and showed Himself. And people were changed. Lives were changed. Marriages, families, homes were restored. People were redeemed. We need more of God. He is the answer.

And He created us to need eachother. We need more real and honest community. Not just seeing each other in church on Sunday. Not just putting on a smile and pretending we are all fine. Obviously we are not. When the rate of divorce within the church is higher than the rate of divorce outside the church we are not fine. Chances are that half of all families that are sitting in church on Sunday will be separated by divorce at some point. We are not ok. Lets be real with each other. We need to be honest. And we need to beg God to work of behalf of one another.

I am not sure what this looks like exactly. But the truth is without God and without each other our families, marriages and lives will continue to crumble. Will you join the revolution? Will you beg God to work in your life? Will you beg God to teach you how to be a better husband, a better wife, a better mom or dad? Will you be open and honest with a few trusted friends about your struggles and joys?

God~
Forgive me for seeking myself. Forgive me for caring more about my desires, my needs, my plans than yours, forgive my complacency, forgive my wandering heart. I am sorry that I spent so long seeking anything but you. Please fill my life with your presence. Please fill me with a desire to do your will. Please fill me with a longing for more of you. Help me not become comfortable with getting just a little of your spirit. Help me to learn to love Todd the way he needs. Forgive me for being selfish and caring more about my needs than his. Teach me to love him. Teach me to love my children. Help us to create genuine community with those around us. Help us to be honest and to share the truth with those we care about. Let your spirit come and fill me. Let your spirit come and fill our home and our family and teach us to do your will. Please come and renew this generation. Please send a revival in our churches, in our homes and let us have new hope. Thank you that despite my selfishness you still seek me and call to me. Thank you that you redeem even the worst of lives. You are the hope. You are our only hope.
In Jesus name I pray.

Amen.

Facebook Rules

I love facebook. It has helped me reconnect with old friends and stay connected with current ones. It allows me to share photos of the kids with relatives far away. It has been a really good thing. But so many times people use this in ways that are not good. So here are my tongue in cheek facebook rules.

1. Facebook is not the place to hash out problems.
If you feel the need to tell your friend that they are making some poor choices in life, please tell them in person. Do not post on their facebook wall that you think they are an idiot. Seriously it does not help. I am pretty sure it only complicates life for anyone involved.

2. Facebook is not the place to discuss your sex life.
No one wants to know who you are sleeping with or not sleeping with. And those who want to know can ask you in person. Please for every ones sake do not make your status about your latest hook up. Seriously, I go online to say hi to a friend and get inundated with your booty call. No thanks. Please keep it private. If you are so desperate that the world know who you are sleeping with, you probably have some deep seeded emotional issues and should not be sleeping with anybody.

3. Facebook is not the place to talk about your argument with your spouse.
Telling the whole world that your spouse is a douche bag does not make your marriage better. Get off the Internet and go have a reasonable discussion with them. We all do not want to know your dirty laundry.

4. Please keep your clothes on in your profile picture.
Enough said seriously.

5. Please do not update your status 50 times a day.
Do we need to know that you went to the bathroom, are eating a bagel, are washing the dishes, walking the dog, and doing everything else within your day? Ummm, any of those things would be fine to post once in a while. But seriously sometimes people are ridiculous.

6. Do not say anything on facebook that you do not want the world to know.
If you post something on facebook, please do not be mad when the world knows. Every person in your friend status has the potential to see what you wrote. Remember that.

At one time in our history people knew what was appropriate for public display. People somehow think that because you can sit on the computer in your underwear it is a private thing. This list is not conclusive. Please feel free to add.

Lead Me

The following are lyrics to a song.

The video can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLr6G8Xy5uc&ob=av2n

Sanctus Real- Lead Me

I look around and see my wonderful life

Almost perfect from the outside

In picture frames I see my beautiful wife

Always smiling

But on the inside, I can hear her saying

"Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?"

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone.

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside

I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine

They're independent

But on the inside, I can hear them

"Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?"

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone."

So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I am called to be

Oh, Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands

To stand up when they can't

Don't want to leave them hungry for love

Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight

And give them the best of my life

So we can call this out home

Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

When I hear that song it makes me cry. I cry because I see so many families broken. I see so many men who are too busy chasing their own desires and their own dreams to see that their families are hurting and need them. I see men who would rather spend their nights drinking and partying than home with wives who are desperate for them. I see men who are so busy building their careers that they never make time to spend with their kids. I cry.

But I have hope. There are some men who are crying out to lead.

I have one. I have a man who works 9-10 hour days but comes home in time for dinner. I can tell from the look in his eyes that the one thing he would love would be a hot shower and to sit on the couch and do nothing. But he comes home and gets on the floor and plays with our babies. He builds blocks or becomes a human trampoline. He doesn't always want to. But he does it. He puts aside his own desires and does what we need. My man dreams big dreams. He has goals and desires. But he always surrenders his plans to what God wants for our family. He does not forge ahead like he is the only one. He leads us. He is so eager to follow the voice of God. And many times it means the things he loves get put a little on the back burner. I am proud to be lead by Him. I am thankful that he cares enough to do it.

Adoption Update

So many people have been asking us about how the adoption is going. I have been telling some and giving the short version to most, but here is where we are.

We have started our home study and I am hoping it will be complete sometime in December. Now because it is Christmas time realistically thinking it will probably be somewhere in January. I was super nervous about beginning the home study process. I dissected myself and questioned and worried. We finally met our social worker and right away I felt peace. She is the sweetest lady and helped put our fears at ease. She seemed so genuine and so willing to work with our family towards what God wants.

We have begun the process of filling out paperwork with our agency. The agency that will be placing the baby is separate from our home study agency. There is an overwhelming amount of things we need to fill out and paperwork we need to gather. There is nothing private when you are applying to adopt. Everything in your life is open to questioning. It can feel a bit overwhelming and I have to trust that God will help us get everything done in the right timing.

There are so many things that I am learning during this process. I will eventually share many of them. Some I may keep private. But one thing I am learning more and more is that I need to do what God says.

Phillipians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

More and more I have questions and more I more I have doubts and fears. This is all a new process to us. And as with any new thing in life we can be afraid at times. But I know what I know. I know God lead us here. And I know he will provide. And of that I am certain.

Life Interupted

So I was making dinner this evening and running around doing five thousand other things when a little two year old voice interupted my thinking. From the couch she said, "Mommy, can you sit next to me?" I almost told her the truth. I almost said that I had so many things to do and needed to hurry and prepare dinner so we can eat before our company arrives. I almost explained how the dishes still needed to be cleaned and put away. I almost did. But the cuteness of the little voice made me say, "Yes."

So I sat next to her. We sat for less than five minutes. I "read" two books. I say "read" because my two year old does not really sit still long enough to read many books. So we looked at pictures. And then I kissed her and then I finished my five thousand things.

It was really simple. But it was a sweet moment.

I pray that I will always make time to sit next to her. She won't remember the meal we had, or the that the dishes were clean. She will remember if mom was always too busy to be with her. I am sad that my life is interupted by dishes and meals.

Random thought

So I was thinking why is it that as moms whenever we say we need a break or are feeling worn out we qualify it by saying, "I love my kids, but"? Can't we just assume that everyone knows we love our kids. Unless I see you grossly neglecting your kids, I assume you are pretty crazy about them. Why do I think that the moment I utter the words, "I am tired, or I need a break" someone will think I am a bad mom? Can we just be free to admit the truth sometimes without feeling like we will be judged? Because the reality is if you are being a good mom you will get tired. If you are a good mom you cook, clean, shuttle, dress, bathe, cook, clean, shuttle, cuddle, read to, discipline, read to, hug, kiss, cook, clean, hug, kiss, play with, read to, hug, kiss and bed children all day long. If you are human and a good mom you will naturally get tired. So I am going to try and stop qualifying my statements and just let them stand. I think you can assume I love my kids right?

By the way. I could really use like 4 hours where no one touches, talks to, looks at or needs me.

Thanks

I have written something like this before. I actually stole the idea from a blogger friend. But while I was going into the basement to wash a load of laundry (same load for the second time) I had a little sigh at the vast amount of dirty clothes that were waiting to be washed. And then I stopped and said thanks. So here goes.

1. I am thankful for the mounds of dirty clothes because it means my family has clothing and can stay warm.

2. I am thankful for the dirty dishes in the sink because it means my family has eaten.

3. I am thankful for the toys that are scattered throughout the house because it means I am blessed with children who are healthy enough to run into every corner.

4. I am thankful that we are waiting for our son because it means we have time and will meet him one day.

5. I am thankful that I have a messy home because it means I have a home.

6. I am thankful that I miss my very best friend because it means I am blessed to have a friend.

7. I am thankful that I have to end this blog because I have a little girl who is asking for help because it means I have been blessed to care for this little girl.

What are you thankful for today?