Right Thing

I am not sure if it was the right thing to do, but I did it and if the situation happened I would probably do it again.
Here it is:
We were in the mall tonight celebrating Elizabeth's 2nd birthday! Daddy just took Claire to change her and Lizzie and I were enjoying ice cream. Next to us were a group of three or four 12-14 year olds. Two girls walked by and one of the girls said" Nice hair, not, ha, ha" And all 4 proceeded to laugh. It made me angry. I went over to the girl who said it and said, "you did not have to be mean, some day you learn that it is not nice to be mean to people." She said, "I wasn't." I told her. "Don't lie to me, I just saw you make fun of that girls hair. Someday when you grow up you will regret it. It probably really hurt that girls feelings." "I am sorry." She said. "Don't apologize to me, you should apologize to that girl you made fun of." Now the rest of the time her and her friends sat there. they whispered and gave me dirty looks. When the got up to leave, I said, "If you have something to say to me you can come over and say it." They did not. I am not sure if it did any good, but I hope that girl and maybe her friends will think twice before making fun of someone again. I know where my anger stems from. From years of being teased as a kid. The funny thing is I saw one of the girls who teased me heavily in junior high a few years back. She gained about 75 pounds since then. Inside I was happy. I should not have been. Or maybe it was not me being mean towards her, just maybe it was a feeling of happiness because maybe now she feels what I felt being teased as a kid. Not that I wish that upon anyone, but I want for the ones who tease to understand that it hurts. To understand that we all have flaws and some people have a whole lot more when they are 12. I still remember being 12 or 13 and walking on the bus to taunts from girls, "Look how ugly she is, look at her makeup." The girl I saw who gained the weight was the one leading that group. The thing is now I would never call her ugly. Not in a million years. In fact if we were to become friends I would probably tell her how pretty she is. Not that I am anything good. Not that I am any less sinful or wretched, but I think that having survived years of hurt makes me more sensitive to the hurts of others. I hope for my girls that they do not have to endure the teasing that I did as a kid, but I hope for the sake of their own hearts that they are sensitive to others. If my kids ever tease someone like that I pray that I find out, so I can beat them. And maybe they will not have to gain 75 pounds to know how it feels to hurt. Maybe they can learn from a young age to seek out the outcast and broken. Is that not what Jesus did? I pray that I do that and my kids as well.

Clean House

I think I have come to the conclusion that my house will never be clean. Today I was trying to do some organizing and here is what happened: While I was taking Claire's newborn clothes from her dresser and filling the dresser with bigger sizes (Fast Huh?) Elizabeth was happily taking every toy we have upstairs out of it's place and also taking her shirts from her dresser and trying to wear them (as pants.) So, we finally finished with that and it was nap time for Elizabeth. Claire and I went downstairs and I got her to sleep. I sat with her for a good 20 minutes mostly because it was really nice to sit and then I tried to clean. I wasn't feeling great today so I did not get much done. And I really only had about 45 minutes from the time I laid her down until she ate again. Later after naps and dinner were over the kids and I were upstairs. Todd was working on something in the barn. (A shelf for Elizabeth) I was trying to put away laundry. I no sooner got all Elizabeth's clothes and hangers put away and she starts bring all my hangers into her room. I am not trying to complain. Just lamenting. I really would like an organized, clean home. But I am sure some day ,when my kids are grown, it will be and then I will miss it. I will miss the handprints on the glass door and the food stuck to the curtain behind Elizabeth's chair. I will miss the baby socks that seem to get tucked into everything and the sight of Elizabeth wiping Claire's face with a bathroom towel because she spit up. (It really is funny to watch a two year old do that.) I probably will not miss both kids having a poopy diaper at the same time while I am trying to put clothes away, but I know I will miss a lot. So for now, if you come over and there are blueberries on the floor from snack or if the layer of dust is really thick just know I tried, but really not that hard because it really is more fun to sit and watch Rudolph with your baby for the first time or to build a fort in the living room. And there will not be too many more years where they will want to do that with mom.

_By the way thought I would add: Funny, I used to clean houses for a living. LOL>

Potty Training

Today our family was doing some shopping at Target and Elizabeth and I went into the bathroom. She tried to go pee, but did not. When she was done I sat down and peed and when I got up she said, "yeah, momma sticker." We have been rewarding her with stickers for putting pee pee in the potty. I have not been pushing her just asking sometimes and letting her try. So, at least she gets the concept, in theory! And I know with time she will get it! I just thought that was so cute.

Specialist Update- 2 weeks late

We saw the GI Spec. on Halloween. She seemed pretty positive and was hopeful that Claire would outgrow this acid reflux situation. She wanted to put her on a new medicine, which we started Sunday. Since Tuesday morning she has had such an upset stomach that she will hardly eat. One of the side effects is nausea. And this medicine still did not stop the choking.The doctor has taken her off the medicine, but she still has no gotten completely over it. She was a bit better this morning. I guess the doctors want to try a new medicine the next time we go in. We have another appointment on Dec. 2. Someone asked us the other day if it felt like she was three months old yet. And we both said yes. This really has felt like one of the longest three months of my life. I dont want to wish away her babyhood, but I do long for her to outgrow this.
On other matters:
Todd is up north and we are not sure when he is coming home because his truck is broke down. We are staying with my mom for help and sanity. She is extremely helpful! But we miss daddy! I am so blessed to have the husband I do and with him gone I realize it so much!
Good news though. I have lost 13 pounds this month! Which makes me so excited. I still have 16 to get down to prebaby weight. And I want to lose more after that! But one day at a time!

Hope Won!

I have to say first of all that many of my ideas were sparked by listening to Christian talk radio today and in the days leading up to this election.
Okay so first of all my title of this may be deceiving. No I do not support Barack Obama nor am I elated that he was elected president of the USA, but I was doing some cleaning this afternoon while the kids were napping and flipped on Oprah in the living room. Of course Oprah is ecstatic that Obama won and she was wearing a t-shirt that said, "Hope Won". It made me kind of sick to my stomach. Now I know people are excited and this is a historic moment in time. A black man finally being elected president, but to me it seems like something deeper is going on. Last night as we were watching the news and the election was finally called for Obama they flipped to a rally being held in Obama's honor and I saw people sobbing. Sobbing, from my point of view, probably not just because the first black man was elected, but because this man was elected. It seems like Obama worship to me. I think back to this long election cycle and remember hearing a news paper columnists actually write that Obama was her personal Jesus. It seems like people think Obama is the hope of our world. And that is sad. I genuinely think that his policies and values will take America further down the tubes and that we would have been better off with John McCain as president, but that is not why it is sad to me. What is sad to me is that many people miss the real hope of the world Jesus Christ. Obama is not the hope of the world. Hope did win, but not last night. Hope won over 2000 years ago when Jesus Christ hung on a cross and was resurrected from the dead. Hope will win in the end, but not because of Barack Obama or any policy changes he will make. Hope will win because Jesus Christ will return to this earth and come for his bride, the church! I was very down earlier today and was reminded by listening to Bob Dutko on 103.5 FM of the fact that my hope is not in this world. My hope should be and should remain in Jesus Christ. And he will always win!

a little more normal and various life details

So my sweet little girl has gotten back to normal. Sunday was the last day of the crazy, make her nuts, medication and since Monday she has been napping well and sleeping in in the morning! Yeah! This makes life a bit easier. Claire now is going through the worst of the cold and slept only about 15 minutes today until 5:00. For two months old that is not good, but she gets off the crazy, makes my kids not sleep, medication tomorrow. So hopefully she will be back to normal soon. This week has been a little hectic in our family and when things are busy or when mommy has a lot to do Elizabeth likes to get in to things. Tuesday morning I was trying to send an important email and I looked up and Liz was coloring on the door. LOL. But Monday morning we did not have a lot to do, so after Claire fell asleep for her morning nap Liz and I read books and played together. I used to get to do that a lot more before baby number 2 arrived. So it was nice to enjoy my little girl and I think it was really nice for her. She seemed much more attentive to me and able to obey for the rest of the day. And I found myself laughing and having more fun with her even into today. Now if only I had two hours every day to play. Wishful thinking, but I will take it when it comes. I really do have a great little girl. She is a lot of fun!

I am looking forward to Halloween. Liz is going to be a monkey and Claire is a bannana. They are so cute in their costumes! We also have Claire's specialist appointment on Friday. I am hoping we can get something figured out.

Other than that life has just been crazy. I did recieve a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my husband today! With two Sunflowers tucked right in there. (My favorites) He has a way of cheering me up when things are nuts. I am grateful for him!

Life in choas

So today was one of those days for me. It started with a doctor appt. for claire. Not fun, but made tremendously better by the fact Lizzie was with my best friend. You have to love a friend who calls and insists on watching your kid just to help you, even though she has a yucky cold, which she will most certainly pass on to her children. Thanks Sheena! After that home for naps and rest for mommy. Lizzie did not nap. She is on a medication for a cold that makes her extremely hyper and needless to say she sat in her bed two hours today and did not sleep one wink. I went in a few times to check on her and kept telling her, "You need to sleep sweetie." Well, she did not and our day went accordingly. At 4:30 I talked to Todd and mistakenly interpreted that he would be home soon. (Yeah) Well, at 5:30 I called again and was told he was not even leaving for 20 minutes. I had been telling myself, "it will be over soon. Daddy will be home and he will help and life will be better." Dinner was almost done. Lizzie was running around like the drugged up kid she is and I was on the brink. Well, when he told me he was not leaving for 20 more minutes I broke down. I immediately told him I had to go. I was not mad at him. It really was both of our faults. He did not give me all the info about what he had to do until he came home, but I also should never assume. So, when I hung up with him. I just cried. I sat there holding Lizzie, stirring taco meat, crying. We made it through till dad came home and when he came home mommy had to leave. I just needed some alone time. It got me thinking. Life is often made up of these moments. And I appreciate so much when other moms, normal, healthy, good, moms let me know about those moments in their lives. Often when I am in those moments I feel like they will never end and like I am such a mess. And like my kids are going to be scarred and turn out horrible. But then I see other families and I realize that despite the chaos things really can be ok. My kids, thankfully enough, have the option of having their messy lives redeemed by the God who created us. And I am ever grateful for that and for the chance I have to turn to him as well. I left the house and cried in the car. I cried and prayed and went shopping. And when I came home I felt better. I have to say that when I walked in the door the house was clean, dishes done and Lizzie was bathed. That did help with the feeling better part. ( I have an amazing husband.) But it helps me to remember I don't have to be perfect. God loves me and Jesus Christ can redeem my broken chaos. For that and for weight watchers ice cream I am leaving you grateful!