Do you see Him?

Matthew 25:44-45

"Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you? He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.' " (NIV)

My Body

I am having one of those I hate my body moments. For about three weeks I have been struggling with some intense pain from a cyst on my ovary. It has actually subsided a bit now, but for those three weeks I barely had energy or desire to get up and did very little in the way of working out or doing my hair or putting on makeup. So today, I decided to get a little pretty. The girls and I were having lunch with Todd. He was meeting us from work. I took a shower and was attempting to do my hair and get dressed up a little. But my stomach is a little bloated (another symptom of the cyst and probably not working out in three weeks) and my hair was refusing to do anything other than sit in a pony-tail. (I mean really it has not done anything else for three weeks, why change things now?) I was getting super frustrated and lamenting over all the things wrong with my body. But I got dressed and did my makeup and threw my hair up and we went to lunch anyway.

We had lunch and I came home and on a friends facebook she had posted an article. The article was from a womans perspective giving glory to God for the body she had been given. So inspired I decided to write the following:

I praise you Lord for giving me two strong arms. One arm strong enough to carry my toddler through the ice and snow while the other gently guides my preschooler so she does not fall. Arms that carry baskets of laundry down flights of stairs. My arms do not look like a supermodels. They are not as toned as I would like. But they serve my family. Thank you Lord for giving me my arms.

I praise you Lord for my legs. They are strong enough to run through the snow with my kids and chase them through the house for a tickle fight. They carry me whever I need to go. They too are not perfect and many times I have lamented over the shape and dimples. But they are strong and they allow me to do what I need. Thank you Lord for giving me my legs.

I praise you Lord for my stomach. It has carried two of my children and has grown and shrunk as needed. It allows me to eat and sustains me. I think this is my most lamented body part. It is so far from the worlds idea of perfection. It has far too many stretch marks and not enough muscle. But both of my children wrap their legs around it when I scoop them up for a cuddle and when they are sick and want to rest on the couch it makes a nice pillow. My stomach is what my husband wraps his strong arms around and what he holds when we cuddle close at night. I praise you Lord for making my stomach.

I praise you Lord for my mind. It allows me to gain wisdom and grow. It allows me to think through disciplining my children and sort through my to dos. I sometimes feel as though it betrays me when I cannot concentrate or when I forget something very important. But it allows me to learn and change. I praise you Lord for making my mind.

I praise you Lord for my hair. It sometimes drives me insane. But I am blessed to have hair. And I am blessed by knowing that you know the number of them on my head. And even the grey ones are all counted by you. Some do not have hair and I am thankful and praise you Lord for my hair.

I praise you Lord that you created me. I praise you that you made me fearfully and wonderfully. I am thankful that I am allowed to be your temple. I am so undeserving. But for some reason you choose to dwell in me. Thank you. Thank you for creating me and reminding me that I am yours.

Bedroom Humor

So at 5:00 this morning Todd's alarm started ringing. I was half awake because I had just gotten up with a child with a tummy ache. I had just settled in and was nice and warm on the edge of sleep when I heard the ring (Well, vibration so as not to wake the kids) of his phone alarm.

It rang and he quickly turned it off. I sank back into to my sleep and five minutes later heard the ring again. The third time it happened I shook him and the following interchange occurred.

Me: "Do you need to be up at 5:00 am or can we shut that thing off?"

Todd: "I really don't need to be up until 6."

Me: "If your alarm continues to go off until 6 I will strangle you."

Todd: "Ok"

He then crawls out of our warm bed at 5:15 and goes out into the cold.

I have an awesome husband. Every single morning he gets up before the rest of us and braves the cold, rain, or whatever is going on outside to go to work. He works hard and never complains. He does hard labor on most days and alot of days he works in freezing cold. Isn't he great?

And despite my threats to strangle him I really do love him. Just not if he wakes me up.

Thanks babe for working so hard and taking care of us. You are a good man!

Remember

We listen to kiddie songs a lot. My kids love the fun rockin music and I have to admit I kind of like it too. We have Phil Joels solo kids project. It is really awesome. It is filled with a ton of scripture and the music is super fun. One of the songs is titled "Don't forget to remember". Tonight I want to remember.

We put up our Christmas tree this evening. It was filled with so much joy and laughter and memories. Each ornament has a special meaning and holds memories. Its fun to share with the kids.

We finished the tree trimming and were doing other decorating. And it was getting late and the kids were having a snack. I remembered that we had chosen to set aside a set of ornaments that were gifted to us for the yard sale. They were three collectible Thomas Kincaide ornaments. They each have a Bible verse on them. I remembered the ornaments and quickly set about finding them. They were not with our other Christmas decor. I quickly found them and because the kids were eating their snack I had a moment alone to put them up. I put each on the tree and read the verses.

My heart was filled with joy as I remembered. We prayed to God for what we needed for the adoption and He answered. He gave us exactly what we needed in that moment. Those ornaments were like my memorial. It was my reminder. My God is big. I thanked Him. I praised Him and I remembered who He is.

It is really easy to kind of get discouraged right now. We are so busy and bogged down in the details of the adoption. There is so much paperwork and so much preparation. And I cannot imagine actually holding my little baby. It feels so far away. We are being told it could take up to two years. Honestly my heart aches when I think that. I do not want to wait for two years to hold him.

But then God gives me a reminder. My ornaments that are so clearly a picture of how God miraculously provided exactly what we need. He is still orchestrating the details. And I can trust Him.

More

So in the past three years or so, our family has been surrounded by marriages that have or are crumbling. We have had very dear and close friends divorce. Some have been very sudden and seem to have come from out of the blue. We have been heartbroken on more than one occasion. There have been times when we literally have had our hearts ripped from our chest by the news of someone close separating. We hurt and ache for those around us. We know God's plan for marriage was never supposed to be this way. We struggle to know how to help. How can we encourage the marriages around us?

It seems like we have more access to resources than ever before. There are more books being written on the subject of marriage than ever. With the internet, facebook, texting, down loadable sermons and more people have more access to the knowledge than they ever did in the past. Yet marriages are still crumbling at an ever increasing rate. There is more knowledge and still more divorce.

In my cries to God, it seems that He has answered that there are two things we need more of. The answer is not more books, more sermons, more counseling, more knowledge. All of those things are fine in and of themselves. And I have been genuinely helped on more than one occasion by all of those. But the real answer. The real depth and longing of our hearts and our families is for more of God and deeper community.

Our families need more of the living breathing active Lord. We need His spirits fire to come in our homes. We need to beg for God's presence. We need to beg that He forgive our sinful, wretched hearts and fill them with Himself. Without Him no sermon, no book, no formula will transform our families. Nothing can redeem and restore what was once broken like God. Some of the marriages around us seem beyond hope. They seem like nothing could make them new again. But I am reminded of a group of people. A group of men and women who were broken and beaten. A group who were sinful and filled with regret. In the book of Acts the second chapter we are told of such a group of men and women. About 120. They were followers of Jesus. Jesus Christ had just recently been crucified. All of those around him fled when he needed them. Peter, his closest friend, denied that he even knew him. These were a group of rejects. They had no hope of any good coming from their lives. They had no hope of anything good coming from what had happened. But they sat together and prayed and waited upon the Lord. And the Holy Spirit came with wind and fire and filled each of them. In verse 41 we are told that 3,000 people came to follow Christ that day. It was not because of the knowledge that people came that day. It was not an eloquent sermon. It was not a really good book. The living, active, working God came and showed Himself. And people were changed. Lives were changed. Marriages, families, homes were restored. People were redeemed. We need more of God. He is the answer.

And He created us to need eachother. We need more real and honest community. Not just seeing each other in church on Sunday. Not just putting on a smile and pretending we are all fine. Obviously we are not. When the rate of divorce within the church is higher than the rate of divorce outside the church we are not fine. Chances are that half of all families that are sitting in church on Sunday will be separated by divorce at some point. We are not ok. Lets be real with each other. We need to be honest. And we need to beg God to work of behalf of one another.

I am not sure what this looks like exactly. But the truth is without God and without each other our families, marriages and lives will continue to crumble. Will you join the revolution? Will you beg God to work in your life? Will you beg God to teach you how to be a better husband, a better wife, a better mom or dad? Will you be open and honest with a few trusted friends about your struggles and joys?

God~
Forgive me for seeking myself. Forgive me for caring more about my desires, my needs, my plans than yours, forgive my complacency, forgive my wandering heart. I am sorry that I spent so long seeking anything but you. Please fill my life with your presence. Please fill me with a desire to do your will. Please fill me with a longing for more of you. Help me not become comfortable with getting just a little of your spirit. Help me to learn to love Todd the way he needs. Forgive me for being selfish and caring more about my needs than his. Teach me to love him. Teach me to love my children. Help us to create genuine community with those around us. Help us to be honest and to share the truth with those we care about. Let your spirit come and fill me. Let your spirit come and fill our home and our family and teach us to do your will. Please come and renew this generation. Please send a revival in our churches, in our homes and let us have new hope. Thank you that despite my selfishness you still seek me and call to me. Thank you that you redeem even the worst of lives. You are the hope. You are our only hope.
In Jesus name I pray.

Amen.

Facebook Rules

I love facebook. It has helped me reconnect with old friends and stay connected with current ones. It allows me to share photos of the kids with relatives far away. It has been a really good thing. But so many times people use this in ways that are not good. So here are my tongue in cheek facebook rules.

1. Facebook is not the place to hash out problems.
If you feel the need to tell your friend that they are making some poor choices in life, please tell them in person. Do not post on their facebook wall that you think they are an idiot. Seriously it does not help. I am pretty sure it only complicates life for anyone involved.

2. Facebook is not the place to discuss your sex life.
No one wants to know who you are sleeping with or not sleeping with. And those who want to know can ask you in person. Please for every ones sake do not make your status about your latest hook up. Seriously, I go online to say hi to a friend and get inundated with your booty call. No thanks. Please keep it private. If you are so desperate that the world know who you are sleeping with, you probably have some deep seeded emotional issues and should not be sleeping with anybody.

3. Facebook is not the place to talk about your argument with your spouse.
Telling the whole world that your spouse is a douche bag does not make your marriage better. Get off the Internet and go have a reasonable discussion with them. We all do not want to know your dirty laundry.

4. Please keep your clothes on in your profile picture.
Enough said seriously.

5. Please do not update your status 50 times a day.
Do we need to know that you went to the bathroom, are eating a bagel, are washing the dishes, walking the dog, and doing everything else within your day? Ummm, any of those things would be fine to post once in a while. But seriously sometimes people are ridiculous.

6. Do not say anything on facebook that you do not want the world to know.
If you post something on facebook, please do not be mad when the world knows. Every person in your friend status has the potential to see what you wrote. Remember that.

At one time in our history people knew what was appropriate for public display. People somehow think that because you can sit on the computer in your underwear it is a private thing. This list is not conclusive. Please feel free to add.

Lead Me

The following are lyrics to a song.

The video can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLr6G8Xy5uc&ob=av2n

Sanctus Real- Lead Me

I look around and see my wonderful life

Almost perfect from the outside

In picture frames I see my beautiful wife

Always smiling

But on the inside, I can hear her saying

"Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?"

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone.

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside

I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine

They're independent

But on the inside, I can hear them

"Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?"

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone."

So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I am called to be

Oh, Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands

To stand up when they can't

Don't want to leave them hungry for love

Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight

And give them the best of my life

So we can call this out home

Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

When I hear that song it makes me cry. I cry because I see so many families broken. I see so many men who are too busy chasing their own desires and their own dreams to see that their families are hurting and need them. I see men who would rather spend their nights drinking and partying than home with wives who are desperate for them. I see men who are so busy building their careers that they never make time to spend with their kids. I cry.

But I have hope. There are some men who are crying out to lead.

I have one. I have a man who works 9-10 hour days but comes home in time for dinner. I can tell from the look in his eyes that the one thing he would love would be a hot shower and to sit on the couch and do nothing. But he comes home and gets on the floor and plays with our babies. He builds blocks or becomes a human trampoline. He doesn't always want to. But he does it. He puts aside his own desires and does what we need. My man dreams big dreams. He has goals and desires. But he always surrenders his plans to what God wants for our family. He does not forge ahead like he is the only one. He leads us. He is so eager to follow the voice of God. And many times it means the things he loves get put a little on the back burner. I am proud to be lead by Him. I am thankful that he cares enough to do it.