Random Thought

It is funny how when my house is organized and "clean" I notice just how dirty everything is. Like the cobwebs on the door trim and the gunk (what is that anyway?) on the outside of the cupboards. I give up for today. And probably for tomorrow too.

Potty Training and Broken Heart

Wednesday we had a full out potty training day. We took off Lizzie's diaper and put big girl panties on her. We hyped it up and made a big deal about it before hand and she was exited on P-day to wear her Elmo panties. We set her elmo potty up in the kitchen and had m&ms and stickers ready to go. I wanted her to see what it felt like to be wet in panties, so she can start to learn when to use the potty. We stayed home all day and I asked her every 45 minutes or so to use the potty. In the morning she did very well. She had no accidents and even stayed dry during nap. (We had a pull up on her just in case.) After nap, however, was a different story. She had many accidents and just could not seem to make it to the potty. We did not scold her, but I could tell she was upset by her accidents. The next day we woke her up and she seemed very anxious about the potty. She did not want to go and even ran and hid in the other room to pee and poop in her underpants. At that point I did not make a big deal. I just said ok let's go to the potty and we will try harder to make it next time. At this point she was crying when I would ask her to use the potty. So, pull ups came on and we backed off for the day. Today she stayed in diapers, but I asked her if she wanted to use the potty and up until this point she has not wanted to. I know it is ok. She is only 26 months and is very smart. When she is ready she will do it. I know that she will eventually get it and I have to be patient.

On another note. I am sure many mothers have had their babies break their hearts, but yesterday was a bad one for me. Lizzie was playing at my mom's house while I was working in the office with my aunt Sherry. I went in the house to tell her it was time for nap. (It was almost 2:30.) When I came in the room she said, "Mommy no get you.( She refers to herself as you.) Mommy go away. Go see Sherry. No like mommy." It broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I know she was just having fun and did not want to nap, but it still made me sad. Sometimes it seems like she wants anyone, but me. But I know she spends all day every day with me and needs interaction with other people, but it still is not fun to hear that. I licked wounds and told her, you don't have to like mommy, but I love you. And sent her to bed. She quickly recovered from her dislike of mommy because that evening I was leaving the house for a little while and she and Claire were staying with daddy and as I was walking out she was sobbing and saying "my mommy no leave." I know she did not mean it and it is probably stupid to let it bother me and I am sure it will not be the last time she breaks my heart. But it still was sad. She is becoming a little girl and is no longer a baby. She is asserting her Independence from mommy and figuring out her likes and dislikes. It is just sad to watch her grow up sometimes.

A moment of joy, unlikely to repeated in the near future and pray for Nicole

So as humorous as this is, my moment of joy is this: Every room in the house is clean, at the same time. In general, if I am cleaning while Todd is working, Lizzie is destroying one room while I clean another. But last night after the kids went to bed Todd helped me clean downstairs. (By the way Claire and Lizzie are consistently going to bed within 15 minutes of each other and staying asleep. Yeah!) It was nice to wake up to a clean house. And then after the kids had breakfast I was able to clean upstairs. And at this rare moment every room is clean! I am so excited and feel so together. Clutter and mess makes me crazy, but a lot of the time I just cannot do anything about it. I either do not have the time or energy to fix it. But I will enjoy my clean house even if it will probably only last a few hours. LOL. I am still trying to figure out how people with young kids keep a clean house consistently. I am sure some people are just way more diligent than I am.
Anyway on another note, we live next door to a business and for two nights in a row, Tuesday and Wednesday, the alarm system went off from 2:00 am to 5:30 am. It woke Claire up both nights and she was up, off and on, the whole time it was going off. It drove me crazy. The first night we finally called the police at 5:00 am and then it turned off at 5:30. The second night we called the police at 2:30 and again at 5:15 because it was still going off. I am sure the police were sick of us, but seriously, an alarm going off for 3 hours is annoying. Thursday I called the business and spoke to a manager and told them that the alarm going off so long was keeping our whole house up. They were very apologetic and said they had a new system and it had some kinks and I guess they thought it could be turned off remotely and apparantly they did not know it was going off so long. The manager assured me they would do something about it and it has not gone off since. That is good because one more sleepless night and I was about ready to go throw a rock through the window. I seriously wanted to give them a reason for that alarm to go off. LOL.

On a much different note I have a very good friend, Nicole, and she is experiencing some pretty serious health issues. She lost vision in one eye about 7 years ago due to a psuedo-tumor that caused some elevation in her spinal fluid. The doctors put a shunt in to help regulate her spinal fluid and up until this point it has been workig great. She recently has had some strange blackouts and her doctors just did some tests to try to figure out exactly what is going on. I talked to her the other night and was amazed by her faith. She is so calm and reassured in Christ. She has always been an amazing woman and always makes me stronger in my walk with God, but the past couple of years she has gone through a lot of junk and has always handled herself with grace and a passion for Jesus. I love her dearly and just wanted to ask people to pray for her.

Romans 8:35-39

Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? (Even the scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.") No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demon's can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Sing praises

So the past couple of days have just felt so blah. It seems like I have not heard any good news in so long. Every where I turn another friend is losing a job, getting sick. I know that this too shall pass, but in the moment it seems so long. I just felt broken yesterday by all the hurt and sadness.
Yesterday I was just feeling so sad and I remembered a phrase I have heard from the bible. "A sacrifice of praise" I am not sure if that applies here, but in the moment I just started to sing praises to God. Out loud, which Claire found to be hilarious. I do not always remember to do that, but it helped. I am so utterly greatful for the blessings I have. We have been given so much. We have jobs, and vehicles and food and a warm house. I know there are so many who have so little, so in the midst of my sadness I remembered Jesus and how good he still was despite all I see going on around me and I think that is what I am always supposed to do. He still is good and he still reigns despite the economy, despite illness, despite death. He is God.

Favorite Moments

So considering my last very downer post, I wanted to share some favorite moments from this week. Not in any particuliar order.

#1 Watching Lizzie make Claire crack up. Claire has recently started the huge belly laughs and just loves to do it whenever her sister does anything remotely funny. My favorite times are when Lizzie is in her face saying crazy things like, blah, ahhh, gahh and Claire laughs so hard and says Ahhh right back. It is like they are speaking a secret language. Love it.

#2 My very sick toddler was laying on the couch watching Elmo and I went upstairs to change from my pjs because my mom was coming over so I could run to the store to get something that the doc said would help her. I was rushing and threw on bright aqua sweats and a grey t-shirt and threw my messy, had not been washed in days, hair in a poiny tail. I went downstairs and Lizzie said, "Mommy, pretty." Love it.

#3 My husband and I went to bed after a very late night of Claire being up several times already and it was only midnight. We were not fighting, but definitly bickering and both of us were just too tired to work it all out. And at 3:00 am I got up to feed Claire. At 4 am I crawled back in bed and my hubby cuddled to me. Sometimes that is just the best. I knew we were all right and that he still loved me and I still loved him. Love it.

#4 One of my very best friends from high school was in town and we were able to go to dinner together. Chelsie is one of those friends that I do not get to see very often, but whenever we are together we just talk and talk and share life as if we have never been apart. I love spending time with her and praying together. She encourages me so much. Love it.

#5 New years eve, my brother Jeff and his girlfriend, Heather came over and we played a board game. It was so much fun to laugh with them. My brother generally has a way of making me crack up. And I enjoy seeing them both so much. Love it.

#6 My good friend, Nicole called me later than she normally does one evening and I answered right away because I thought something may be wrong. Nothing was. She simply called to share good news with me. We sat on the phone for a while and had so much fun talking. Todd was in the other room and when I got off he said, What were you two giggling about? I love having friends like her that I can giggle with. Love it.

#7 My best friend, Sheena came by this morning to bring balloons, flowers and presents to Lizzie all to help her get better. I love having friends who care about my kids! Love it.

In general my life is very blessed and I do love it.

Last week of 2008

So this past week was one of the most stressful week of 08 for me and makes me happy it is over. Not only did we have the brilliant idea that would move Claire over to a bed this week, but Lizzie got herpes stomatitis. Which if you do not know what that is, imagine cold sores all over you toungue, gums, lips, throat. It was an awful week. Lizzie was running a fever for the better part of a week and miserble. She hardly ate anything. She was whiny and generally crabby and she got up two to three times every night. She is starting to get a little better! Thankfully, but it was a long process. That is probably the worst she has ever been sick and I do not want to go through that ever again. It does make me grateful she is generally healthy. I know some parents have kids who are sick for their whole lives, so we are very fortunate.

On the Claire sleep issue- She sleeps awful laying on her back. We have successfully kept her from sleeping in a swing for the whole week, but it has been a painful process. In one night she got up 8 times. Babies with acid relfux generally sleep very poorly on their backs and she is no exception and excessive crying makes acid reflux flair up, so we decided to lay a screaming baby on her back. yeah, that was fun. Anyway, we have rocked her to sleep a few times this week (for our sanity.) But overall she has fallen asleep on her own. So that is good, but the wkaing up 8 times a night thing is making me crazy. Between her waking up and Liz waking up some nights I was up 6 times. (Bad math i know, but my loving husband took half.) She has slept on her tummy on occaision for naps. (Mostly when she was in the same room with me.) So we experimented and layed her on her belly one night. She woke up once for a bottle and went right back to sleep. Needless to say she is a tummy sleeper now. I know no pediatrician would recommend it, but the research I have done says babies with acid relfux tend to relfux less when laying on their sides or tummies. Some relfux doctors will actually recommend infants with severe reflux sleep on their tummies. And with much prayer, worry and deliberation this is what we have decided. Now I am hoping sleep can get a little more normal. I do not think I or my poor husband, who takes the brunt of my stress, can take much more.