Small blessings

I was definitely at the end of my rope a few weeks ago. I stated in a previous post all that was ensuing and there was more going on that I did not share, but one day I snapped. Not in a bad way. But I did. I called Todd and said we need to find a babysitter for Saturday night. I need some time without these kids and some time alone with you. We try to have date nights, but anyone with kids knows that sometimes it is so much work to go out without the kids that we just do not do it.

First you have to find a sitter.
Don't get me wrong. We have a number of wonderful, reliable people on hand who are more than willing to jump at the opportunity to watch our kids. Just last weekend we had to find a sitter for something. I asked one of my dearest friends and had three other friends ask me, after the fact, if they could babysit. One even wanted me to cancel the people I had asked because she said she wanted to do it so badly. So we have people willing to do it. People even desiring to do it. But often I feel bad for asking. I feel like we are taking away someones time and inconveniencing them. I am not sure why. I do not feel that way when I am asked to watch a friends child. But I just think like that.

Also I worry about the kids. They generally do really well with most of the people we have watch them, but there has been a time or two that went really poorly and resulted in us having to return home early because of something that was going on. In Claire's first year of life we rarely ever left her with anyone. She had occasional moments where she would stop breathing and choke. So she hardly ever left my side, even at night.

In would say there is a second reason but really the sitter thing is it.

In saying all of this I am trying to get to the point that I snapped and asked Todd for a night out. We found a sitter and quickly arranged for a nice time without kids. A few days later we found out that we were going to have the opportunity for four weekends in a row of date nights. We have been through two and this weekend we get a whole night alone with the kids. Elizabeth has been begging to sleep over at my moms and this weekend it worked out. Of course to my delight Elizabeth insisted that her sister come too. :) Yeah for a whole night alone with my hubby.

My point in all of this is that these date nights have really given me a boost. I have something to look forward to and the nights themselves have been so refreshing to me and our marriage.

But why as moms do we not take care of ourselves more? Why is it that I needed to snap to ask for some alone time? Why can't I just do that all the time? I don't know. But I do know this... anyone willing to babysit just need ask. I have a new attitude about date night.