I wrote this blog February 13th. At the time the emotions were so raw we were not ready to share it. But today is World Malaria Day and I thought it was a fitting day to share it. Before you read this please know it is not about our Nehemiah that we are currently pursuing for adoption.
"About three weeks ago I answered a phone call that changed our lives. Our adoption facilitator told me about a little baby boy that was only a few weeks old. And asked if we would be interested in pursuing him for adoption. Of course my heart burst at the seams and I said, "yes." We were told the official paperwork would follow soon. About a week later, we learned our little guy was sick and had to be hospitalized. And we were put on hold from pursuing him until he was on the upswing.
That was about two weeks ago. During that time we have fallen in love with this little guy. We have prayed for him. We have dreamed of bedroom colors and baby things. We have asked family and friends to pray for him. We have begged God to heal him and begged God to bring him into our family. These past few weeks have been hard. We have prayed for clarity. We have asked God to make clear what He wants for us. We have asked Him to have His way. And we have asked God to do what is best for this little guy. And today we have clarity. We were told today that we are not able to pursue this little guy for adoption. And he is still sick. The truth is he may not make it.
And that idea breaks my heart. And we are still begging God to heal him. If you want to join us in praying for him please do so. But at this time we are not able to move forward with adopting him. The situation is out of our hands. But we know He is in the hands of God."
We think that little guy probably had Malaria. We do not know for sure. But we believe so. We have also learned that since that time he has passed away.
God was so gracious to our family. He gave us such peace the day we found out that little guy would not make it. And the same day we learned of his fate we accepted our referral of our Nehemiah. My heart was utterly broken at the loss of our first baby. I wept so hard for his little life. He was precious to us. And still is. I hope one day I get to see his face in heaven. We were blessed to be able to pray for him and want him, if only for a short time. And honestly I am thankful we were given the opportunity. Even if it meant my heart was broken.
Malaria is one of the top 3 child killers on the planet and it is treatable and even preventable.
Check out this website if you want to learn more. And for every person who watches the trailer to this HBO Film one child will receive Malaria treatment.