All to Him I owe

"I hear the Savior say, Thy strength indeed is small; Child of weakness, watch and pray, Find in Me thine all in all.”

I was listening to those lyrics at church this morning and it struck a cord in my heart. I have struggled and sought and have been trying to make it to the right path. I have tried to manipulate and make things happen on my own. But it was not until I said, "I don't know what to do or how this will work" that God made it happen.

My strength indeed is small. My resources are small. My willingness is small. But God is big. My God is big.

Todd and I made the decision to begin our adoption process and then we decided to wait until we had the $5,000.00 needed for the home study and agency fees. We bgan to pray that God would bring $5,000.00 our way. And we waited. About a month ago, I was pretty sad. I felt like we had heard from God. I felt like this is what He wanted, but the money was not much closer. We were saving, but I knew that we needed something other than ourselves to make this adoption happen. The whole process will cost somewhere around $20,000. So I prayed. One night sad and frustrated from the depths of my heart, I cried. "God, I thought this is what you wanted. I thought you would provide this money. But its not here." I told no one of my frustrations. Not even my husband. The very next day my dear friend Kathy told Todd she wanted to do a garage sale for us to raise money. We had not even told her we had decided to do the adoption for sure. God answered, "Child of weakness, watch and pray, find in me thine all in all." And I have been utterly blown away by the generosity and support we are recieving. I know that this is nothing short of the hand of God. I can never repay this debt. I can never earn it.

I am utterly thankful. From the depths of my heart. My resources are small. But my God is big. My faith is small. But my God is big. My heart is weak. But my God is big. He has paid it all. All to Him I owe.

The chorus of the song goes like this, "Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe; Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow."

Thank you Lord. Thank you for paying the penalty for my sin. And that alone would have been enough, but you continue to meet my needs and fulfill me. You continue to lead me and provide. Thank you for being a big God.

I just read a post on a blog from a family who has adopted 5 children. It is heart wrenching, and you should read it for yourself, http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2010/09/while-we-wait.html. But the part that made me smile was this: "While we wait for God to provide...He waits for us to take the first step so He can."