Smooth away part two

So after my face stopped burning(It took a whole day), I still had red spots in the areas of use. And two days later my face is now peeling in those areas. Needless to say, I will not be using it again.

Beauty is pain, right?

This post is not for the faint of heart. If you are male or otherwise not interested in yucky beauty stuff please feel free to not read. :)

So I have spent the last 20 minutes doing "beauty" treatments. I don't feel very beautiful, and I look all red and blotchy, but oh well.

The first thing I did was to use a new product called "smooth away." I found it a Target and it was supposed to be a pain free way to remove hair. I have noticed in the last year that hair is growing on my face in places it never was before. Maybe it is because I am getting closer and closer to 30, but it has driven me crazy. So today I was motivated and while kids were in bed I decided to try it. I have never waxed or anything like that before, so pain free was what I was drawn to. I took the small plastic applicator out of the package and applied what looked like dull sand paper with adhesive. Then I followed the instructions and removed the hair by moving in slow circular motions over the affected area. I was suprised with how quickly the hair came off. It was pretty easy. It was a little more difficult to use around the corners of my mouth, but overall it was pretty good. It was not really painful while I was using it, but immediately after my face started to burn. I followed the instructions for after treatment and applied cold water and then a cotton ball soaked in milk. It helped a bit with the stinging, but the redness is still there.

Next, I attacked some small blemish on my face. First I googled it. I have had this small white pimple like blemish on my cheek for a month. I have been expecting it to go away, but it has not, so I went to work to find out what it was. Not sure what it was called still, but google instructed me to either see a dermatoligist or try to remove it myself. No way I am seeing a dermatologist if I can remove it myself. So on to plan B. I followed the instructions and found a needle. I burned the tip to disinfect and then poked my face on the site of the blemish. I was told I need to squeeze whatever was in there out. I poked and squeezed and was pretty sure nothing was coming out. I was about ready to give up, but tried one more time. This time I squeezed and a small white ball came out. Sweet was my only thought. I am glad that is finally gone. Now hopefully this scab mark from the needle will heal.

Now I look red and blochty and my face burns. But this is what women do, right?

I am not usually a vain person. Not that being beautiful is vanity, but I just mean that I do not spend very much time looking in the mirror. I am lucky to shower on most days and do not usually take such lengths to look pretty.

But Friday night my husband planned a special night for us. He found a sitter, planned the night and bought me a new dress. I have no idea what we are doing, but I am excited. So I am going all out. It is fun to get decked out once in a while, isn't it? Hopefully my face looks less red by then.

My Sweetheart

So yesterday morning as Todd was walking out to go to work I asked if he would bring Claire into our room. She was awake and I did not hear Elizabeth yet, so I was hoping for a couple more minutes in bed. She quickly grew tired of laying with me, so I asked her if she wanted to go wake up her sister. This is an exciting thing for her. On the rare occasions that she is awake before her sister she loves going in to get her up. She can even open the door on her own. (This does not work out so well on mornings when I am trying to keep her in bed longer, but anyway.) She excitedly went in and I heard their conversation.

Elizabeth: Hi, good morning sweetheart. Let's go wake up mommy. (Not sure how she thought Claire got out of her crib with me still in bed.)

As they came in the room I hid under the covers and pretended to be asleep. When they came in Elizabeth said, "Hi mom, my little sweetheart did come and wake me up."

I thought that was the cutest thing ever. I was expecting her to say, "my little sister." But what she said was way more cute and memorable.

Homeschooling

So consider this my venting place. I am not really talking to anyone in particular, but just want to vent. I read an online article recently that talked about a family from Germany who were granted asylum in the United States because they were homeschooling their children in Germany where it is illegal. The article turned into a debate from the readers about homeschooling. This lead to many people defending and bashing it. Here are some of the cons and my reactions:

1. "I had a kid in my freshman math class who was homeschooled and he could not even mulitiply."

Well, in all honestly I had a lot of kids in my freshman english class who did not know what a noun was. Some kids fall through the cracks of any system. Yes, there are some kids whose parents do not put as much effort into their education when they homeschool. Yes, those families exist, but by and large most homeschooled children score higher in academic tests than traditional schooled children. To say homeschooling does not work because you met one kid who was not very bright would be illogical.

2. "Homeschooling makes kids unsocialized."

Maybe it does. Maybe a homeschool child will not interact in the same way with their peers at 13 as a traditional schooled child. But I think it depends more on the family. Children will learn from who they are taught by. If my child spends the majority of time interacting with me and his or her siblings they will learn social cues from me. I kind of like that better. I think homeschoolers should have ample time to interact with people of all ages. I think it becomes the parents responsibilty to make sure the child is given opportunites to make friends and spend time with their peers, but I don't think that spending 8 hours a day with peers is crucial. Children can learn to be polite, kind and have manners from mom and dad. They can have fun, laugh, play games and share jokes with siblings.

We are not at school age yet. But I think we will be homeschooling. We have weighed the options and at this point that looks like the best choice for our family.

Do I think that every family should homeschool? No. I don't think homeschooling is feasible for everyone. Not every family will like it and I cannot decide what is best for you. Maybe those people who are anti-homeschooling could take a closer look before they decide what is best for my family.

Husband

I miss my hubby. We had a week of all out plague in our home. 4 bouts of stomach flu. One case of strep throat and one case of bronchitis. We have sorely missed alone time. After the week of, dare I say, hell, all I wanted to do was sleep when the kids went to bed. But tonight when the kiddos are in bed we have a date. And I am looking forward to spending some one on one time with my handsome man.

Mirror

I have to admit that sometimes I cringe when I see my children mimic me. There are those moments when they do things that my heart just breaks. One such moment happened the other day. Elizabeth was struggling so hard to accomplish something (I cannot remember what). She got frustrated and screamed and threw it down. I would like to say I have never done that. But sadly when she did it I saw myself. It is easy to forget, when the computer is not working or when I can't open something, that little eyes are watching. Sometimes I scream aghhhh in frustration and throw it. Those moments are the worst.

She does mimic good things. When I see her gently hold her baby doll and say, "Its ok momma is here, baby." or apologize to her sister without encouragement. Those moments give me hope. They give me hope that despite my many flaws and failures my children can learn good from me. My ultimate hope and the one that gives me comfort is that they will be introduced to the one they can mirror and I will never have to cringe. I hope that I can point them to Jesus and they can see the one who will never let them down.

Marriage

First of all before I share my thoughts I want to share the heart behind them. I am not an expert on marriage. I have been married almost 6 years. I have what I think is a healthy, happy marriage, but I know that I do not know everything there is to know about it. I consider people married 20,40,50, or even 70 years to be experts. They have time on their side. But I know that time married does not make you good at marriage. If this was the case there would be no divorces after 20 years. We know statistically most Americans are getting divorced now after 25 years. So time does not make a good marriage.

So what does? I have prayed that God would make me a good wife. I have prayed for my husband and I to have a great marriage. I think scripture gives us some very good guidelines for healthy marriage. And God has made certain scriptures come alive to me.

Ephesians 4:26B "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." (NIV)
This verse was made real to me at a "low" point. Todd and I were having a really rough patch. Nothing major. But it just seemed like we were not clicking. We fought over the smallest issues and just were generally crabby with one another. One Sunday our pastor taught on this verse. I realized that I had been holding on to "small" issues everyday. Maybe one day Todd would make a comment that hurt my feelings. Instead of telling him he hurt me I just supressed it. I had good intentions. I usually did not want to start a fight or I thought I could just get over it. But it usually did not work. I would let small issues build until I blew up at him.

This was brought to life to me through someone elses circumstances recently. I was talking with a woman who had been married for many years and was now divorced. She recounted for me an incident that happened in her marriage over 10 years ago. Her now ex-husband made a comment that wounded her deeply. She recited his words with such anger that I knew she felt the hurt just as much as she had at the moment they were spoken. And when we were finished talking I wondered to myself what may have happened if she would have told him right then how much his words hurt. Who knows. He may have apoligized. I wondered if their divorce was due, in part, to years of going to bed angry. Years of holding on to a small wound, every day.

Proverbs 10:12 "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." (NIV)

I hurt my husband sometimes. I think about my needs more than his needs some days. He hurts me too. We are two utterly imperfect people trying to make marriage work. How can two people who are utterly selfish, and sinful at their core make marriage work? I think the only way we survive and still enjoy each other is through love. At the end of the day. At the end of an arugument. We can choose to love each other or leave angry.

I hope that each day I can forgive him. I honestly think men are better at this than us. Women can hold grudges for years. If you wound us once we will remember. And you better believe we will not let you forget. Or anyone else for that matter. I am not saying that some hurts are not legitimate. Some wounds are very deep and hurt so much they make you bleed inside. Some wives have endured so much they wonder if they can endure more. I am not talking about abusive situations. Obviously, those type of wounds need a more thorough and in depth examination. Maybe a trusted pastor or counselor could help you heal from those hurts. Those hurts are real and you have every right to feel them. But what I am suggesting is that if you are married would your marriage be a little more healthy, a little more loving, a little more enjoyable if you offered real genuine forgiveness today and everyday.

I know mine has been so much better since the Sunday I heard that sermon. I have tried to leave each conversation, each moment, each day resolved. I try not to go to bed angry at Todd. And we are happier. I am happier. Our marriage is healthier.

What are you holding onto that is making you bitter towards your husband? Let it be resolved today.